


empty promises in a burning world

by kuhaperuna



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Apocalypse, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Zombie Apocalypse, Angst, Attempt at Humor, Dorcas is a transgender lesbian because fuck J.K Rowling, Drug Use, F/F, F/M, Friendship, M/M, Minor Character Death, Regulus is a Skaterboi, Sexual Content, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-21
Updated: 2020-10-31
Packaged: 2021-03-04 08:14:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 24,543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24846625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kuhaperuna/pseuds/kuhaperuna
Summary: In movies and video games, it was always America that got riddled with zombies and taken over by an unforgiving apocalyptic world. Deserted metropolises with collapsed skyscrapers, abandoned cars, vines climbing modern buildings, all that shite. Now, that might have been kind of cool.Bloodthirsty corpses slowly dragging their feet towards nothing in particular, oddly enough, looked just unsettling and peculiar in the Scottish Highlands.But… okay, it was still kind of cool. Let’s be real.
Relationships: Alice Longbottom/Frank Longbottom, James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Marlene McKinnon/Dorcas Meadowes, Regulus Black/Some fucking appreciation thank you, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 7
Kudos: 30





	1. Sightseeing

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, I LIVE for zombie apocalypse AU's but I've never written one myself. So now that there's a literal pandemic going around and we're all hyped for The Last of Us II, I figured why not? And maybe I wanted to write a Harry Potter fanfic just to introduce a transgender character at some point because fuck J.K Rowling, am I right? :) That's all, enjoy!

In movies and video games, it was always America that got riddled with zombies and taken over by an unforgiving apocalyptic world. Deserted metropolises with collapsed skyscrapers, abandoned cars, vines climbing modern buildings, all that shite. Now, that might have been kind of cool.

Bloodthirsty corpses slowly dragging their feet towards nothing in particular, oddly enough, looked just unsettling and peculiar in the Scottish Highlands.

But… okay, it was still kind of cool. Let’s be real.

Sirius supposed he was lucky to have attended a posh boarding school on the other side of the British Isles because as wicked and badass he was, he doubted he would’ve survived in London for very long with the zombie apocalypse going on and whatnot.

Going to London, or even remotely south, was probably the stupidest thing to do when there were barely any zombies in the Highlands. He, Remus and Lily had better chances of survival they could ever hope for. But James had gone home for Easter holidays and so had Regulus, that little prick, so… London was calling.

**May 3rd, 2020  
Somewhere in the Scottish Highlands**

Lily was driving today. She and Sirius took turns because no one sane (or insane) would let Remus drive. Remus was, however, great at reading maps and looking for landmarks and since the days of Google Maps and Siri long were over, he was always in the passenger seat. This left Sirius sprawled in the back with their supplies, looking at the Highlands zoom by.

“Where the fuck are we?” he asked for what felt like the hundredth time. Lily and Remus sighed in unison.

“Just how bad are you at geography?” Lily scoffed.

“We left Loch Ness a while ago. You should be seeing Ben Nevis soon,” Remus said patiently without even looking at the map, the arrogant git. It wasn’t Sirius’ fault he didn’t remember where famous landmarks were and how far away they were from each other.

“Soooo, somewhere in the Highlands. Still,” he drawled.

“Yes, Black, we’re still in the Highlands,” Lily said.

“Great,” Sirius muttered impatiently. He wished there was some other way of travelling. Like a flying motorbike or something.

“Be glad we’re still here. The only people around here were tourists and it wasn't exactly the season for that yet,” Remus pointed out. “Once we get more south things’ll get tricky.”

“Yeah, things’ll get less boring. I never thought a fucking apocalypse could be so mundane,” Sirius whined. His leg was bouncing anxiously and his fingers tapped a familiar beat on Remus’ headrest. He just wanted to get out and walk, at the very least.

They had spent a whopping fifteen minutes at Loch Ness before a hungry zombie family with cameras still hanging off their necks and warm jackets flapping in the wind had approached them. Sirius hadn’t had time to stretch his legs properly, take a single picture of the loch or search for a monster. It was the worst tourist trap he had ever been to.

“Look! There it is,” Remus said, and Lily slowed down. Sirius looked where Remus was pointing and won’t you look at that, there was a lovely range of mountains in the distance.

“Which one is Ben Nevis?” Lily asked.

“I’m not sure, but it should be right about there,” Remus said.

“Great, lovely, can we move on? Unless you want to get out of the car to admire them lovely peaks,” Sirius said impatiently.

“Yeah, we should move on. We can stop at Glencoe, I’ve heard it’s lovely,” Lily said cheerily. Sirius groaned and Lily started driving again.

Turns out Glencoe wasn’t far from Ben Nevis, and it was very lovely indeed. Unfortunately the weather must have been good when the apocalypse started (Sirius honestly couldn’t remember) because it was also riddled with tourists, and they were hungry. Sirius couldn't even get out of the car this time. 

“Can we please just _stop_ and _get out_ somewhere?” Sirius moaned.

“As soon as we find a place that isn’t as busy, sure,” Remus answered snappily.

“The roads have been pretty fucking empty as far as I’ve seen,” Sirius grumbled.

“I’d rather stop at a visiting centre, like the one at Loch Ness. With toilets and some food if we’re lucky,” Lily said wisely. She had a point, as per usual, which Sirius found incredibly annoying. It was bad enough that Remus always had a point.

“Maybe we should stop at a small town? More supplies, and they won’t be nearly as bad as cities further south,” Remus mused.

“Well, they’re still worse than the places we’ve been so far and we’ve already been almost killed plenty of times so no thank you, we’re not taking any fucking risks,” Lily said in her I’m-right-and-you’re-wrong-end-of-conversation voice.

“I could just really use some weed,” Remus muttered as if Scottish villages had endless supplies of weed. 

“Young man, we’re not taking unnecessary risks to support your drug habit, don’t be so selfish,” Sirius said in what he thought was a very passable impression of Lily.

“Look, fuck off—“

_BANG!_

At first, Sirius thought the sound was their car breaking down (which was the last thing they needed) but the car still kept going.

“What the fuck was that?” Remus asked, peering out of the window.

_BANG!_

“Should we stop?” Lily asked anxiously.

_BANG! BANG!_

“It’s fucking guns you’re hearing, no way we’re stopping!” Remus cried.

“I know what a bloody gun sounds like, I—“

“SHUT UP!” Sirius shouted, and they did. That was a first. “No, we’re not stopping because everyone knows that if there’s one thing worse than zombies in an apocalypse, it’s other people. But what we’re _also_ not doing is driving _towards_ the gunshots, which is _exactly_ what you’re doing now!”

“Shit!” Lily shrieked, more to herself than the boys, and turned the car around so swiftly Sirius was sure she had drifted before. What a mysterious woman. No wonder James was so in love with her.

“Alright, what we can do is go back to the bridge and go around Loch Leven, but we’d sort of still be going towards the gunshots,” Remus said nervously.

“Is there any other route we could take?” Lily asked. She was gripping the wheel so tight her knuckles turned white.

“We could turn around and drive along the coast. It’ll take longer to reach Glasgow, but I think it’ll be safer,” Remus answered thoughtfully.

“We’re still set on going to Glasgow, then?” Sirius said, grinning eagerly.

“Just to check it out,” Lily reminded him, “and we’re turning the car around as soon as there’s any trouble.”

“Hey, guys,” Remus said, eyes on the map, “there’s some cool castle ruins on the way. We should stop by and see if there’s not as many tourists around.”

“Sounds brilliant,” Sirius said. _If I see a single zombie tourist there I’m getting out of the car and fucking it up, that’s my castle and I will camp there if it kills me_ , he thought.

The sun hung low by the time they reached Dunstaffnage Castle. There wasn’t a living (or dead) soul in sight, which had Sirius smiling widely.

After a thorough exploration of the castle, which included Lily reading random facts from plagues out loud and Remus studying pamphlets quietly, the trio decided it was a safe spot for the night. (Though, to Lily’s disappointment, there were no indoor toilets.) They took their things to the gift shop, which was the warmest place, and set up camp.

They didn’t have many things - in midst of the panic and chaos of a fresh apocalypse, it’s hard to find supplies in a medieval boarding school. Lily was the only one who had had the sense to grab a sleeping bag, and she cherished it on cold nights. She also carried a hunting rifle (she wouldn’t tell the boys where she got it), menstrual pads and tampons, a flashlight and her share of food and water.

Remus’ most treasured possession was his weed supply, which was getting dangerously low. (No one wanted to see an angry Remus without his weed.) He also had painkillers, an impressing stack of jumpers (When Sirius laughed, Remus threatened to not give him a single one once winter came and that shut him up.), a bong and a first aid kit. His weapon of preference was an old but deadly sharp sword he’d found from school. (It was a very old school.) (It was a very cool sword.) (Sirius was a bit jealous.)

Sirius’ supplies were not that bad, but they were definitely the poorest among the three. He had his pimped cricket bat (“You do realise the nails just weaken its structure and make it less durable?” Lily had said when he showed off the finished product.) and a big bottle of whisky he hadn’t dared to open yet. In his pockets he kept a switch blade, his near empty pack of cigarettes and a lighter.

“Lads, you’ll be happy to know this gift shop sells blankets,” Lily quipped and Sirius turned his head so fast he nearly got whiplash. The day had turned lucky.

Remus hadn’t heard. He was on the other side of the shop staring at a display in awe.

“Remus! You son of a whore, you found chocolate!” Sirius cried. And when he saw the display next to the chocolates, he damn near _actually_ cried. There was no need to save up the whisky, for there were rows and rows of it right there. And…

“FOOD!” Lily screamed. It wasn’t actual food, mind you, mainly biscuits and such, but it was better than just chocolate. (“‘Just chocolate,’ they say,” Remus scoffed when they pointed this out later in the evening.)

“Tonight, lady and gentleman, we feast,” Sirius sighed. He grabbed two tins of biscuits, a whisky bottle and as much chocolate as he could carry and took them to his little nest of blankets and tourist-y t-shirts and jumpers. Lily tossed him a can of coke and he made a delicious wee cocktail in a coffee mug that promoted the castle.

“You’re really getting drunk right now?” Remus asked as he settled down next to him in his own little nest.

“During this whole shit-show I’ve gotten drunk less times than you have gotten high, darling,” Sirius pointed out. Remus shrugged and poured himself a drink. It took a bit of convincing, but Lily did make herself one as well.

“Cheers, lads, to finding our friends in this fucked up world,” Lily said. They all bumped their Dunstaffnage mugs together (Sirius’ whisky and coke sloshed onto Lily’s jeans but for once, she didn’t nag at him.) and drank.

“Bloody hell, I've missed being a teenager,” Sirius sighed.

“When did you stop?” Remus snapped. Lily snorted into her drink.

“You know what I mean. Shall we play truth or dare?” Sirius asked, wiggling his eyebrows.

“Is that what you popular kids were up to in your wee parties?” Lily asked cunningly.

“Yeah, and we had pillow fights too,” Sirius countered.

“Did Potter braid your hair?” Remus snorted.

“Of course he did!” Sirius gasped, offended. “Though he was never that good at it.”

“I’ll give it a shot,” Lily announced.

She settled behind Sirius and undid the messy knot he had made that morning. Sirius leant into her fingers as they ran though his hair. He hadn’t realised just how much he had missed _touching_. Lily and Remus were always touching, but as an outsider he never touched them unless absolutely necessary. _Maybe I should start,_ he thought, closing his eyes.

A familiar smell wafted through the air: Remus had lighted a joint, probably one of his last. The warmth of the whisky settled in Sirius’ belly and spread throughout his body, leaving him fuzzy and relaxed. The gentle tug of Lily’s hands in his hair were the final step it took to lull him into a state so comfortable he probably wouldn’t have gotten up if a hundred tourists scuffled in.

“I’ve told you about my parties. How did you losers spend your free time?” he asked in an attempt to stay slightly more awake.

“I smoked, she studied. Peter just sort of… was there,” Remus answered in a woolly voice.

“I wonder how he’s doing,” Lily mused.

“Peter as in Peter Pettigrew?” Sirius snorted. “That kid has no chance, sorry to break it to you.”

Lily’s hands stopped abruptly for a second. Then they continued, and she said quietly: “I think you’re underestimating him. He can be brilliant sometimes.”

“Lupin, can you confirm?” Sirius asked. Remus laughed and coughed.

“He does have his moments,” he said. He had a soft smile on his lips, something Sirius hadn’t seen before.

“Like what?” Sirius asked.

“Like that time me, Remus and Severus—“

Sirius choked and spat out his whisky and coke. He turned around and shouted: “You hung out with _Snivellus_?”

“Come on now, Black, that’s not even a very creative name,” Lily muttered.

“How could you be friends with _him_?” Sirius said harshly. “He’s a racist, homophobic, sexist bastard among many other things but if I were to list them all we would be here all fucking night. Do you know the things he’s said about James?”

“To be honest, Potter hasn’t been exactly kind to him either,” Lily snapped.

“Yeah, for a reason!” Sirius cried. “What about you, Lupin? You know he says you’re a freak, right? And he thinks Pettigrew should never have been accepted into Hogwarts?”

“Look, he grew up in a—“ Lily tried.

“My dad beat me, my mum disowned me and 98% of my family is privileged bigoted pricks. Do you see me bullying people and calling them slurs?” Sirius ranted heatedly.

Both Lily and Remus were quiet for a moment, and Sirius realised he’d revealed too much. Only James, Mrs. Potter and Regulus knew about what went down with his family and even they didn’t know all the nasty details.

“I’m sorry to hear that, Sirius,” Lily said softly. It was the first time she hadn’t called him ‘Black’.

“There’s no need to discuss Severus anyway, he’s dead,” Remus muttered.

“You don’t know that,” Lily snapped.

“I saw him,” Remus said bitterly.

“He could still be alive,” Lily said.

Remus and Sirius looked at each other in a mutual understanding. Even if Snape was alive, they would make no effort to find the bastard.

“I’m all done now,” Lily announced.

Remus looked at Sirius and started laughing loudly. “That looks fucking awful!” he wheezed.

“Aren’t girls supposed to be good at braiding?” Sirius asked. His face was heating up. People usually laughed _with_ him, not _at_ him. (Or so he hoped; it would’ve been a shame if his career as class clown had gone to waste.)

“I never braid mine!” Lily argued, freckled cheeks red.

“Let me try,” Remus suggested.

“No! No one get near my hair anymore,” Sirius said. Remus rolled his eyes.

“Come on, I’ve done Lily’s hair a million times,” Remus said. Sirius ended up giving in, and Remus and Lily switched places.

“I’m sorry for yelling about Snivellus,” Sirius said finally. He wasn’t really that sorry at all, but he figured he should at least try to get along with the people he was stuck with.

“Let’s not dwell on it,” Lily said. The boys agreed.

That night Sirius dreamt of Hogwarts. Specifically, his last Christmas there.

**December 25th, 2019  
Hogwarts**

He and James had agreed to stay in school for the holidays. James’ parents were overseas visiting some family and since he wasn’t a big fan of long plane rides, James wanted to stay behind. Or, at least that’s what he told everyone. He honestly just wanted to keep company to Sirius, who stayed because he’d had another fight with his family and didn’t want to go home with Regulus.

Not many people stayed for Christmas holidays that year, or any year for that matter. Accompanying James and Sirius were Remus Lupin (a quiet stoner who didn’t get along with most people), Ted Tonks (Sirius barely knew him), Gilderoy Lockhart (a wanker), Lucius Malfoy (somehow, an even bigger wanker) and Lily Evans (a wanker, but in a good way). There were two first years as well, whom Sirius didn’t know.

Since it was their first Christmas without adults (well, except the staff), Sirius and James decided to have a party. Their usual guest list didn’t work out since no one was there, so they just invited everyone of their age group; even Lucius Malfoy, though he didn’t come.

Acquiring alcoholic beverages was easy in Hogwarts: the students were such privileged arrogant pricks that most teachers had a drinking problem, or at the very least had a few bottles stashed away for a bad day. McGonagall and Dumbledore preferred sherry, Slughorn drank anything fancy and expensive and Hooch liked good old vodka. Sybill Trelawney, however, was a goldmine. She was the newest addition to the staff and the most distressed, and she had bottles upon bottles of anything you could imagine. Gin, vodka, whisky, sherry, wine and Sirius’ favourite; disgustingly sweet liquors that he would mix with any old soda and get a disgustingly sweet cocktail. (“What can I say, Prongs, I’m a teenager just like any other tosser in this school.”)

James wasn’t a big drinker at that point. He and Sirius had both gotten drunk for the first time earlier that year, and it had been a disaster. It involved a half-naked James, covered in peanut putter, professing his true love to McGonagall (whom he had mistaken for Lily because he was absolutely pissed and not wearing glasses) while Sirius sicked on her new boots.

Needless to say, it took a while before James had the courage to get pissed again. (It was the following New Years; it didn’t go just as bad but he did wake up on the dorm room floor with his whole hand in a jar of peanut butter. The whole fixation with peanut butter was odd because sober James hated it.)

“Should I just not drink at all?” James asked before their Wee Christmas Bash was to start. “I don’t want to accidentally get pissed in front of Evans.”

“She might not have seen you the last time but she’s definitely heard of it. I don’t think she’d be shocked by anything,” Sirius pointed out. He was arranging Trelawney’s bottles on his nightstand and wondering if he had time to get just a couple more in case.

“Yeah but I don’t wanna embarrass myself _even more_ ,” James whined.

“Too late for that, mate, your whole existence is an embarrassment,” Sirius said cheerfully.

“Piss off,” James grumbled.

“Besides, you might have a chance with her if you drink just a little. Liquid courage, they call it,” Sirius said.

James did drink just a little but it didn’t calm his nerves at all. In fact, an hour into the party he disappeared altogether. Sirius didn’t notice because at this point he was absolutely pissed and trying to talk Ted Tonks into marrying his cousin Andromeda because he had a crush on her (though she had already graduated Hogwarts) and was a very sweet boy.

“Oi, Black,” someone said as he was telling Ted about how fun family dinners with Andromeda had been when she was still in the family.

“Yeeah, wazzit?” Sirius slurred in what he thought was a cool and casual voice. He turned around and saw Remus Lupin, who had come with Lily. Lupin had a half-full drink in hand and looked extremely annoyed.

“Your friend is in the balcony having an existential crisis,” Lupin said dully.

“Ohsshit, whys’he doin’ that?” Sirius asked worriedly and staggered to his feet. Lupin shrugged and took Sirius to the small balcony that was connected to the common room.

There James was, sitting on the floor with a bottle of beer in his hand and glasses nowhere to be seen. He looked mortified.

“Prongsh, mate, wassup?” Sirius said as he clumsily sat down next to his friend. Lupin was still there, lighting a joint.

“Evans hates me,” James said. Lupin scoffed.

“She wouldn’t hate you if you weren’t an arse to her,” he said harshly.

“Heyyy, that’s my mate you’re talking to!” Sirius said.

“No, Pads, he’s right… I should never talk to her again,” James sniffed.

“Nononono, Jamesy-mate, she’s just- she’s just a bird, y’know, ’n there’s plen’y of birds in the sea, and you’re an… you’re a _great_ fisherman, y’know, my point being… being, that don’t be sad, Jamie, you’re perfect the way you are,” Sirius said with eyebrows knit together as he tried to focus on words.

“Wow, what a speech,” Lupin said sarcastically.

“Piss off, mate, why are you here?” Sirius garbled.

“Smoking,” Lupin answered, lifting his joint a little.

James’ eyes brightened slightly and he asked: “Can I try?”

Lupin looked conflicted but ended up giving James the joint. Maybe he felt bad for him. With Lupin’s instruction, James took a hit and barely even coughed.

“Why’d’you shmoke weed, Luhpin?” Sirius asked.

“It helps,” Lupin said.

“With what?”

Lupin took the joint from James and took a long drag before he answered. “Chronic pain, anxiety, depression, all that.”

“S’rry to hear,” Sirius said. Lupin simply shrugged.

Then something crashed in the common room and Sirius and James stumbled up to see what was going on, leaving Lupin alone.

As per usual, the dream soon changed to blood and gore, screaming students and an overwhelming feeling of panic.

_May 3rd, 2020_

_I found this notebook in the gift shop of an old castle called Dunstaffnage Castle. I’m going to write down our plans and journey here, as well as everything we learn about the situation._

_Remus and I escaped Hogwarts together when it all happened and ran into Sirius Black on the way. We’ve been on the road for almost three weeks now trying to get to London. We found a car two days ago and it has made travelling much quicker, but I’m not sure how long it will last us. We also found a Tesco yesterday and it hadn’t been badly raided yet, so we were able to stock up on supplies. So far Black has been the biggest consumer of food. He eats like a wild dog._

_We’ve started calling the infected “tourists”. It sounds better than “zombies” (though Sirius seems to disagree) and it’s quite funny. I hope it sticks._

_Last week we encountered Sprout, our old teacher. She accompanied us for three days and told us her theories on the situation. I think we’re lucky it happened because not many people know about how the virus works._

_Here’s Sprout’s theory:_

_The virus is mucous-based; it spreads most commonly through saliva, but one could possibly be exposed to it through intercourse as well., for example. (_ **_Yikes -Sirius_ ** _) Sprout travelled with a group of students and teachers for over a week and made some interesting observations. Students who had been bitten didn’t immediately show symptoms; the virus had to develop for at least four days before they became tourists. Some took five days, and some didn’t show symptoms at all._

_Sprout thinks there are three possible scenarios: 1. The virus simply consumes others slower. 2. It’s possible to be exposed to the virus but not be infected with it OR, carry it without symptoms. 3. Some people are immune._

_Sprout says the first symptom is a high fever, which should happen within the first two days of being exposed, or in some rarer cases not at all. Three students showed only this symptom and got better once it came down. If the fever doesn’t come down, you’re as good as dead. Your body starts to weaken rapidly and you will die. After the heart stops the body will “re-awaken” within hours and you’re a fully-fledged tourist._

_“Fresher” tourists are stronger and more agile, and seem to have better hearing and sight. This doesn’t mean the older ones are harmless, however. Their bodies start to weaken as the corpse rots, but Sprout suspects the bites become more critical. Students who were bitten during the evacuation of Hogwarts were either fine in the end or took longer to become a tourist. Students who were bitten after showed symptoms sooner and were more likely to become tourists._

_Of course, Sprout had only been making these observations over the course of two weeks and there’s no way of knowing how much of it is real. It’s better than nothing, though. I hope we’ll learn more during our journey. There’s a way out of this; I’m sure of it._

**_I miss Sprout :( -Sirius_ **


	2. Mörbylånga

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James couldn’t sleep anymore, though. He was too excited. They finally, after weeks, had a plan. And… Well, yeah, the plan was a bit risky and maybe a bit suicidal and they definitely needed to work on it. But it was better than nothing. They were closer to getting out of London and finding their friends than ever.

_May 6th, 2020_

_Black still hasn’t fixed the car. He insists he can do it but it has been two days now and we need to move soon. Remus and I decided we’ll give him until tomorrow. If he can’t fix it by then, we’ll just have to take as much as we can carry in our bags and continue by foot and hope we find another working car._

_I miss James. I wish I could talk about him. I know I could tell the boys but I don’t know. It’s a bit of a lost cause by now, isn’t it? And I wouldn’t want to tell Black without James’ permission. I know how close they were._

_I wish we had gone on more dates when we still could, or at least spent more time together. After the first one neither of us found the time and, well… I don’t know. Maybe it was just never meant to be._

_I shouldn’t think about him. We have much bigger problems than ex-boyfriends, if I can even call him that._

_Black found an old little radio and fixed it up._

_(I asked him how come he’s so handy when he comes from… Well, you know what kind of a family. He said he fixed up a motorcycle last year and likes tinkering with all sorts of things. He got all cute and excited when he talked about it. I think he’s growing on me.)_

_We found a station that’s still up. They were talking about the outbreak and how it has affected the UK. Here’s some things we learned listening:_

  * _Most cities are currently on lockdown. This is going to make supply runs and getting into London much harder. We also can’t stay in Scotland much longer because they might be closing borders._
  * _Sprout’s theory has been mostly confirmed. In fact, we heard her talk on the radio. A happy coincidence among all this shite. We’re all glad she’s doing fine._
  * _There are quarantine zones in Cardiff, Belfast and Edinburgh. Black says quarantine zones are literal hellholes though, so we’re not going. He learned this from a video game._
  * _There are rumours that the virus comes from a frozen body some explorers found from Antartica. It hasn’t been confirmed, though._



_We also have a better plan now. Well, I’m not sure if it’s a GOOD plan but it’s a plan._

_We’re heading to Glasgow once Black has fixed up the car. Black says he has an uncle who lives there who has hoarded all sorts of equipment in case of an apocalypse. I know it’s dangerous but we do need to see what the situation is like in cities, and getting things (or at least shelter) from Black’s uncle would be wonderful._

_Then we’ll head to England. We might make a stop in Manchester but I honestly don’t want to visit too many big cities. Small towns and villages are much safer._

_Remus wants to go to Birmingham. His mum and dad live there. A childhood friend of mine should live around that area as well, so there’s a chance we might run into her. I wouldn’t mind expanding our little gang; there’s strength in numbers. Black disagrees, though. He says groups are just trouble. I don’t understand because he was very outgoing in school. Then again, he was only close with James._

_Oxford is our last stop before London. We heard on the radio that there’s a gap in London’s borders near Heathrow Airport. The only problem is, the gap is there because of huge numbers of infected so it’s honestly not really a gap at all. It’s our only chance, though._

_London is where it gets tricky. We have no idea where our friends are, if they are still there at all or if they’re even alive. (I try not to think about that last one.) Black says we just figure it out as we go. I don’t think we have any other option._

_And once we find them - if we find them - then… I don’t know. I suppose we find a base, preferably somewhere that isn’t swarming with tourists and… Try to survive. I wish I could make it sound less depressing but I don’t think I can._

_Black says he thinks he’s got the car working now, so I need to stop writing. I hope he’s got it this time._

**May 6th, 2020  
Somewhere in London**

“Come on, James!” Peter wheezed, five feet ahead of James.

“How is it that you’re the slowest bastard to raise your hand in class but when we’re running from the undead you’re faster than Trelawney when she reaches for a bottle of Sherry?” James panted. His legs ached horribly, and his face was so slippery with sweat he had to hold his glasses with one hand. In the other was a crowbar he had found a few days ago, but it didn’t do much good to him now.

“Less talking, more running!”

“Piss off, Pettigrew!” James grumbled but picked up his speed. The lad had asthma, for fuck’s sake, how was he so fast?

London was riddled with the infected. Every street, every corner, every park, every tube station, every Starbucks and McDonald’s was stacked to the brim with them and more just kept coming. At the current moment, Peter and James were being chased by a whole horde.

They often came in hordes, at least in London. James imagined they preferred (Did zombies have preferences?) hunting alone where it was possible, but here the living-dead ratio didn’t work in anyone’s favour. They had to hunt in packs if they wanted to catch anything.

James and Peter had run into each other in Bromley, where Peter’s parents lived. (Or, had lived. James doubted they were currently living at all.) If Peter hadn’t had a sudden burst of courage and smashed a zombie’s head in with a shovel, James would also be dead. Or undead. However you want to say it.

They were a useful thing, those bursts of courage Peter had. They were a bit random, yes, and they didn’t come that often, but when they really were in a pinch Peter did more to advance the situation than James. They made a surprisingly good team considering James had barely paid attention to Peter in school.

Now there was no use for courage. There was barely use for running; the infected were catching up on them and they had been on the move for days. Unless a miracle happened, they would die here.

_Sorry, Sirius, mate. I couldn’t get to you,_ James thought. He could almost feel the hot, sick breath of the infected on his neck. He wished he could see Sirius one last time, or at least Lily. Fuck, he missed Lily.

Then…

The sound of a bottle smashing on the ground.

_WOOSH_.

James felt scorching heat on his back. He didn’t stop running.

Another smash, and a _woosh_ , and flames nearly licked his back. The infected screamed horribly. James could smell them burn. He and Peter slowed down to a jog first, then a brisk walk, and then to a full stop. The infected were no longer chasing them.

“Did you just throw a Molotov at them?” Peter shouted at the rooftops of the low flats that lined the street. James looked up and saw…

“Sirius?” he called, but noticed his mistake immediately. This person, although nearly identical to his best mate, had a slightly smaller frame and shorter hair. “Regulus.”

“Are you coming up here or did I save your arses for nothing?” Regulus asked.

James and Peter scurried to the alley between the buildings and climbed up the fire escape ladder. When they got up, James finally got a good look at Regulus.

He had changed in the past few weeks, to say at the very least. His hair, which was usually neatly combed, was greasy with sweat and fell just over his eyes. He wore a leather jacket, no doubt an old one Sirius had left in their London townhouse, and black jeans and boots. He looked like a mini Sirius, except for the…

“Since when do you skateboard?” James asked curiously.

“I— I did it in secret before all this,” Regulus muttered, cheeks tinted pink. The skateboard was clearly a few years old, but well taken care of.

“What’s your plan, then? Skate all the way out of London?” James questioned, a hand on his hip. He pretended not to hear Peter snicker.

“I don’t know, I’ve been on my own for a few days,” Regulus said, frustrated. “I don’t have anything figured out yet, alright?”

“Who were you with before? Your parents?” James raised an eyebrow. He doubted Mr. And Mrs. Black would last very long without all their servants and silverware and posh foods and wines. Though, they did seem just evil enough to survive an apocalypse. Who knows.

“No, I was with… with my friends,” Regulus said.

“Not the ones you hung with in school? They were pricks!” Peter said.

“There’s safety in numbers,” Regulus said, shrugging his shoulders. There was a shadow in his eyes. Something had happened with his friends.

“How about you come with us? We’re trying to get out of London and find our friends, including your brother,” James suggested softly.

Regulus laughed humourlessly. “Last time I saw my brother he wanted nothing to do with me,” he pointed out.

“Have you considered that the circumstances might be a wee bit different in the, I don’t know, bloody apocalypse?” Peter said. James was very proud of him in that moment.

“Just come, alright? You don’t have to come to Sirius with us but like you said, there’s safety in numbers,” James pleaded. Then, he smiled and added: “Besides, we could use a mate who knows how to make Molotovs and aim them expertly at hordes of zombies.”

Regulus did end up joining the gang, which James decided to call the London Losers. (Regulus was not amused, and Peter probably just pretended to be.) Regulus told them about an IKEA in Croydon that had been closed when shit hit the fan so it was very likely to be deserted. It was quite easy to get to and close by, so they took their chances.

The IKEA turned out to be the perfect location. There was food, furniture to barricade doors with and real beds.

“We could, like… make this into our base,” James said, impressed. Regulus grinned proudly.

They decided to set up their main base in a staff room, which was fortunately close to beds so it didn’t take all night to get them set up. They made sure to barricade it and marked the way there so they wouldn’t get lost.

Then, each of them went on a mission. Regulus, who was clever with his hands, set up traps and alarms MacGyver style. James looked for potential weapons, which proved to be quite easy in an IKEA; he found knives and all sorts of big blunt objects and metal rods they could easily improvise with. Peter’s task was to find food, water, blankets and anything else that could help them survive. (He hit a goldmine when he found several first aid kits in the staff room.)

Once everything was done they were so exhausted they didn’t even agree on a watchperson but promptly fell asleep hoping their barricades and alarms would be enough security for the night.

At some point James woke up in cold sweat. It took him minutes to call his breathing and take in his surroundings. There was no way of knowing what time it was in the dark staff room.

His mouth felt disgustingly dry, so he emptied an entire bottle of water into it. Only after he was finished with that did he notice he wasn’t the only one awake.

“Nightmare?” Regulus asked quietly. Peter was still snoring softly in his own bed.

“Yeah,” James said.

“I get those, too. It’s hard to fall asleep,” Regulus said sympathetically. He was much nicer now than he had ever been in school, James noticed.

“Yeah,” James said again. He fidgeted with the water bottle; turning it, screwing and unscrewing the cork over and over again.

“I, uh… I keep having them about Sirius,” Regulus said softly. James winced at the mention of his best friend. Regulus sat on the bed with him, leaving a considerable gap between them, and continued shakily: “He’s always dying in them, or he’s screaming at me to help but I can’t because my— You get the point. I just wish I’d known something like this would happen. I could’ve stayed with him or insisted he come with me or I could at least have been nice to him. I’ve been such a prick to him…”

“We can’t do anything about it now. Overthinking it won’t bring him here,” James said. He could relate to Regulus very much. Usually Sirius spent the holidays at the Potters’ but he and James had had a stupid fight and he’d stayed behind. James replayed it in his head every night wishing he’d just fucking agreed to disagree for once.

“I know. I miss him,” Regulus muttered. As much as he and Sirius resembled each other, Sirius could never have pulled such a serious ( _He would’ve laughed at that_ , James thought) face. James could think of very few occasions when Sirius didn’t have at least a hint of a grin on his lips.

“Who exactly were you with before?” James asked finally.

“Just… Some lads from school,” Regulus shrugged, “they took me in because we always hung out and some of our families are— were close, so…”

“Right. What happened?” James refrained from insulting Regulus’ ex-friends because he wanted to hear more.

“We had an argument, I guess. They were taking advantage of this whole thing and I just wanted to get out of London,” Regulus said slowly.

“Wait, how were they taking advantage?” James asked.

“I think they’re having fun with all this. They’ve been looting places and destroying things for fun. They’ve got a place in Wembley, the whole area is basically all theirs,” Regulus explained. “They think they’re, like, gang leaders or something.”

“Wow,” James said. He couldn’t say he was surprised, though. At school Regulus had hung out with people like Rosier, Crouch, Snivellus and Malfoy. If any of those people and their mates had an advantage in a bloody apocalypse they were real trouble.

“From what I’ve seen they’ve got enough supplies for a lifetime,” Regulus continued, shaking his head. “Food, weapons, ammo, shelter, medicine, everything you’d need and there’s not even that many of them. At this point they could probably provide for a whole community but…”

“But they have always been selfish pricks, and always will be,” James finished. Regulus nodded. At least they agreed on that.

“So… What are our plans?” Regulus asked.

“I honestly don’t know,” James said. Neither him or Sirius had ever been much of planners. They had always gone with their impulses and had fun doing so, not really giving a damn about getting in trouble. This was different, though. In this world getting in trouble didn’t mean scrubbing toilets with Filch or tidying the chemistry lab with Slughorn. Here, getting in trouble meant death or worse.

“We need to get out of London, right?” Regulus said. James nodded, and Regulus continued: “Well, the city is on lockdown. There’s no way past M25, it’s all military.”

“Are you serious?” James barked.

The corner of Regulus’ mouth twitched and James knew he’d made a mistake. Before he could erase it, Regulus was already saying: “No, I’m Regulus.”

“Alright. You got me there, mate. What were you saying about the military blocks?” James groaned.

“Yeah, no one can get in or out. But I’ve heard there’s a gap in defence around Heathrow Airport,” Regulus said.

“Why do I feel like there’s going to be a ‘but’ here?” James asked. Regulus grimaced.

“ _But_ , it’s because it’s swarming with infected. We’d need a whole army’s worth of weapons and shit to have a chance of surviving. And there’s no way we could do it with just the three of us,” Regulus said and finished with a sigh.

“Well…” James muttered, “we do know a place that has lots of supplies.”

Regulus went even paler than he already was. “No,” he said. “That’s not just risky, that’s fucking stupid!”

“Come on, Reg,” James pleaded.

“No!”

“You know the place, you know the people, I’m a fucking legend if I do say so myself and Peter… well, Peter can be handy at times! We could raid the whole place and they wouldn’t even notice!” James rambled. He was aware that he probably had the manic look in his eyes that Sirius sometimes mentioned when he got a particularly fantastic idea for a prank.

“I…” Regulus hesitated. “I’ll consider it if we get at least two more people with us.”

“Yeah? How the fuck do you expect to find two more people in this hellhole, especially ones we’ll trust?” James asked defeatedly.

“I don’t know, but if it’s just the three of us it’s basically suicide and you can count me out. Good luck raiding the place with Pettigrew,” Regulus hissed.

“Fine!” James hissed back.

Not feeling like arguing anymore, Regulus went back to his own bed and James turned his back on him.

James couldn’t sleep anymore, though. He was too excited. They finally, after weeks, had a plan. And… Well, yeah, the plan was a bit risky and maybe a bit suicidal and they definitely needed to work on it. But it was better than nothing. They were closer to getting out of London and finding their friends than ever.

Their luck had finally turned.

**March 27th, 2020  
Hogsmeade Village**

James was certain he’d never been luckier.

Okay, he wasn’t _that_ lucky. His best mate was suffering in detention on a Hogsmeade visiting day, he was sporting an ugly bruise in the form of Evan Rosier’s fist on his left cheek and the weather was miserable.

But today, ladies and gentlemen and others, on his 17th birthday he was finally on a date with none other than Lily fucking Evans.

He still wasn’t quite sure how it had happened. Evan Rosier and his gang of privileged slime-balls had surrounded two boys in the courtyard. No teacher was in sight. James faintly recognised the boys; the other one was Lupin, whom he had briefly talked to on Christmas. The other one was a short, chubby boy he had been paired up with in chemistry a couple of times. He was very clumsy and nervous but overall good natured, and James was quite certain his name was Peter Pettigrew.

Anyhow, these boys were clearly in a pinch. Pettigrew was shaking hard and Lupin, though he looked tough, was pale and sweaty. His nose was dripping with blood and his knuckles were bruised.

“That all you got in you, faggot?” sneered one of the slime-balls. Just hearing it made James’ blood boil.

“I don’t know. I’m sure I could fit you in as well, not like you’d need much space,” Lupin snapped. When the slime-ball realised what he had said (which took a few seconds) he charged.

James in the crowd before he knew it, throwing punches and yelling heroic things like “Argh!” and “Piss off!” It quickly developed into a full-on brawl; James and Lupin against six or seven slime-balls, with Pettigrew occasionally shrieking words of encouragement and even going as far as throwing a shoe at Amycus Carrow.

“I don’t need your help!” Lupin snapped at James while expertly dodging Antonin Dolohov’s massive fist.

“Too bad!” James answered. He landed a punch on Carrow’s nose, which made an ugly crunching sound and spurted blood on James’ uniform.

The brawl continued for several more minutes, during which James got smacked in the face by Rosier, lost his glasses, ripped up a shirt (he suspected it was Dolohov’s) and hopefully kicked many arses.

But then, there was a _THUD!_ and ringing in his ears and pain, and… black. Just black.

He woke up in the hospital wing accompanied by Sirius, Pettigrew and Evans. Lupin was on the bed next to his contently eating chocolate. He had tampons sticking out of his nostrils and his lip was bruised, but other than that he didn’t look too bad.

“You are a fucking moron. You know that right?” Evans told him as soon as he opened his eyes.

“Not to be an unsupportive friend or anything but she’s right, mate,” Sirius snorted.

“Yeah. I could’ve handled them myself,” Lupin said from the bed.

“Mate, you’d be _dead_ without me,” James said disbelievingly.

“No. You threw me off. I could’ve had them,” Lupin countered. James just rolled his eyes.

“Why did you help?” Evans asked suspiciously. James shrugged.

“’twas the right thing to do,” he said. It might have been the concussion talking, but he was sure he saw something flash in Evans’ eyes.

Evans came to visit him again later that night. (The school nurse insisted he stay overnight, which was bollocks in James’ opinion.)

“Aren’t you supp’sed t’ be in bed?” James slurred, his head numb with painkillers.

“I just wanted to say that you did do the right thing,” Evans said softly. Even with his glasses on the bedside table James could see that she was nervous.

“That all?” James asked. “’s just, ‘m kinda fuzzy r’ght now—“

“I alsowan— um, also wanted to say… Ask, I mean,” Evans stumbled. James waited patiently as she took a deep breath and then said, all in one breath: “WouldyouliketocometoHogsmeadewithmeonFridaythat’sall?”

Then, before James could answer, she planted a quick kiss on his forehead and ran out.

James had been 99.8% sure it had been a fever dream but apparently not because now he was watching her browse secondhand books and every now and then ask him something like “Have you read this one?” or “Did you see the movie adaptation?” and James would answer with an obscure noise from the back of his throat that wasn’t really a word at all.

He tried to memorise every detail about her just in case he wouldn’t have the opportunity ever again. He noticed things about her he had never even seen before, and he considered himself an expert on Evans’ ( _Lily’s,_ he reminded himself) features.

He had never paid attention to just how _cute_ her nose was. How could a nose be that cute? It stuck up just a little and had a soft round tip, and the bridge was speckled with freckles. Her eyes, which he had thought to be a brilliant green, had specs of warm brown in them, which actually made them even _more_ brilliant.

He loved the way her eyebrows formed a wee s-shape when she thought about something hard, and the way her teeth worried her bottom lip and how she fidgeted with the strings of her green jumper that, by the way, matched brilliantly with her eyes. James knew he used the word ‘brilliant’ a lot when he thought of her, but that’s just what she was. Brilliant.

And it turned out she was funny, too. Brilliantly funny. When they grabbed coffee (and tea, because Lily preferred green tea) James laughed until his belly hurt. While his humour was big and loud, Lily’s was so snappy and witty it sometimes took James a minute or two to even recognise a joke and when he did, he’d laugh so hard the whole coffee shop stared at him.

And God, he wished he could tell her all that. He wished he could tell her how sorry he was for being such a prick to her for so many years and how much he really appreciated her. He wanted to tell her he knew how strong and caring and smart and wonderful she was, how he was almost positive he had been in love with her for at least a year now.

But thinking those things was scary and he didn’t want scary tonight. He wanted to cherish everything about the time he spent together with her because he knew that once it was over he would miss the banter and the lingering touches and the tint of pink on her cheeks.

They promised to go on more dates. They kissed, just once and very briefly. (But it was the best kiss James had ever had and even weeks later he could feel it tingle on his lips if he thought about it hard enough.) They promised that if this did work out Sirius and Lupin would be the first ones to know. James promised he could try to get along with Snivellus for Lily’s sake.

The only promises James ever thought he was going to fight to death to keep.

They were all empty. All promises were empty in a burning world.

**May 7th, 2020  
IKEA Croydon, London**

“Right, so where exactly is their base?”

James, Peter and Regulus were sitting around a Mörbylånga in one of those furnished fake dining rooms, with a map of London spread on the table. Regulus had circled the IKEA with a red marker.

“Last time I saw them this primary school was their main one,” Regulus said, tapping a spot on the map and then drawing a red star on it. “I doubt they’ve moved because it’s such an ideal location. They’ve raided the police station here, the fire station here and this medical centre, all within a walking distance from the school. They also got hunting equipment from this shop here.”

“Jesus,” James muttered, tugging at his hair. This was going to be a nightmare to get through.

Regulus nodded grimly and continued: “They’ve got more than enough food and water as well. The school itself will be a fucking military base at this point. When I left they were setting up bombs and tripwires and all that. It’s basically impenetrable.”

“Please tell me there’s a 'but',” Peter said.

“ _But_ we should be able to at least get to the general area through this park here. After that, we’d be going in blind. I have no idea what they’ve set up,” Regulus said, drawing a line through said park.

“That’s not much of a plan then, is it?” Peter pointed out. James opened his mouth to say something, but Peter was already continuing: “I mean, it _is_ a plan, which is better than nothing. I just don’t think we should be doing this half-arsed.”

“Pettigrew is right,” Regulus agreed.

“Right, what should we do then?” James asked.

“I think we’d have to scout the area at least once,” Regulus said.

“Wembley is like 16 miles away,” James hissed. “It’d take hours to walk there, just one trip there and back will take at least two days _if we’re lucky_ , and considering the whole fucking city is taken over by dead people we’re not very bloody lucky!”

“Did you see the parking lot? There’s tons of empty cars, one of them is bound to work,” Regulus pointed out.

“Oh yeah? Does any one of us know how to jump-start a car?” James snapped.

“I saw keys in the staff room,” Peter piped in.

James and Regulus turned to look at him quietly. “And you told us now?”

“I forgot!” Peter whined.

“Wait…” Regulus muttered, frowning. “If there are car keys in the building does that mean there’s an employee as well?”

“Fuck,” James and Peter said at the same time.

“You two haven’t heard anything, right? Or seen?” Regulus asked, his voice hushed and urgent.

“Haven’t,” Peter said.

“Maybe someone just left them here?” James suggested hopefully. “Went home with a co-worker for some hanky-panky, left their car here?”

“Let’s hope so,” Regulus said but clearly wasn’t convinced. “Anyway, if we do get a car it’ll take about an hour to get to Wembley if there’s not too many infected on the streets. That’ll leave us plenty of time.”

“The question is, when do we do it? The infected are more active at night but your mates will spot us easier in daylight,” James said.

“They’re not my mates. And I think it’d be better to go during night. The infected are easier to fight off than those pricks, I’m afraid,” Regulus answered bitterly.

“Shall we find our car, then?” Peter asked nervously.

It took some effort to find the car that fit the keys. James felt incredibly exposed walking around a parking lot pressing the button on the key and chasing the little _beep-beep._ A couple of infected were attracted by the noise, but Regulus and James took them down quietly enough.

After about ten minutes of tracking down _beep-beeps_ they finally found the right car. It was a fairly new-looking sedan with a full tank. (James actually cheered, which earned him a painful punch on the arm.)

“Alright, lads,” James said excitedly. “Let’s get our things and get Operation Ninja Mission started!”


	3. I spy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flames hundreds of times bigger than the ones in the common room microwave years ago roared at Remus as if they were challenging him to come closer.

**May 9th, 2020  
Glasgow, Scotland**

Sirius’ uncle was nowhere to be seen.

Remus felt bad for Sirius. He could tell this uncle had meant a lot to him, based on the way he had talked about him the whole way to Glasgow. Remus was certain this wasn’t the first loss they would encounter on their journey.

Uncle Alphard’s house, however, was still intact. It was a small suburban home in the outskirts of Glasgow, and had remained untouched. Perhaps Alphard hadn’t been home when the outbreak happened.

“So… where’s all the stuff?” Lily asked when they walked in.

“Cellar,” Sirius said simply and walked to the back of the entrance hall, where steep stairs descended into a small entryway with a heavy door. He struggled with the door for a bit but managed to wrench it open with Lily’s help. (Remus stayed back pointing the flashlight.)

The first thing Remus noticed was the smell. The cellar reeked of death. Not the kind of death tourists smelled like, though. This was real, unmoving and silent death.

Remus pointed the flashlight in the cellar and nearly sicked.

They had found Uncle Alphard.

He was sitting on an old wooden chair in the middle of the room, head blown into pieces and a shotgun at his feet. There were pieces of brain and skull and whatever else there had been in Alphard’s head scattered around the space. The furniture, floor, even bits of the ceiling were painted in rusty red. He had rotting bite marks all over and his left arm was barely hanging on.

Sirius was almost as pale as Alphard. His eyes were glassy and he was trembling. Remus took his hand hesitantly, squeezing it reassuringly, and Sirius grasped at it so hard Remus gasped in pain.

Remus could feel another migraine coming, but he didn’t make a single move to reach for his pills. He just stood there holding Sirius’ hand hoping someone would do something.

It was Lily who took the first steps. She had noticed something on the desk next to the man. Gagging, she quickly snatched the paper and ran back to the doorway. She gave it to Sirius, who read it with a frown. When he was done, he simply gave it back to Lily and went back up the stairs without saying a word. Remus thought he heard him sob on the way.

“What is it?” Remus asked quietly.

“Let’s get out of here first. I can’t stand the smell,” Lily whispered and they followed Sirius.

Sirius was nowhere to be seen when they came back up, but they heard some shuffling upstairs. They decided to leave him alone for a bit, hoping he was smart enough not to do anything stupid in his grief.

They sat on a little sofa with frilly pillows (Alphard had been quite the decorator.) and Lily started reading the letter out loud.

“To whomever is reading this - and I certainly hope it is my nephew, Sirius, if he’s still out there - I think I owe an explanation. I thought too highly of myself. I thought I could survive on my own. Turns out, everyone needs friends in a world like this. Everyone needs backup. I didn’t have that, and I came home with my arm barely intact.

“I don’t know how this virus works but I’m not taking any more risks tonight. I don’t want to become one of those things. I don’t want to lose my mind and free will, not now that I’ve finally found it in me.

“I had hoped I would have more use for my supplies in a scenario like this, but we cannot predict the future, can we? If we could, I would have done many things differently. Please take all that could be use to you and survive. Survive for this poor old man’s sake.

“With love and prayer, Alphard Black.”

“Well, that’s depressing,” Remus muttered.

“Poor bastard,” Lily said. She folded the paper and tucked it carefully into her pocket.

They found Sirius after that. He was sitting in the bedroom, staring at a framed photograph. Remus couldn’t take a close look but he saw an old man and a young boy, both with strikingly black hair and fair skin grinning an identical grin. There were dry tears on Sirius’ cheeks and his mouth hung slightly open. Remus hated to admit that even in such a deep state of sorrow, Sirius looked beautiful.

“I’m really sorry, Sirius,” Lily said softly. She approached carefully and when Sirius showed no sign of resistance, sat next to him and wrapped an arm around him. Remus followed suit.

“He was the only one,” Sirius sobbed dryly, “the only one, who would… The only one in my fuh- _fucking_ family who loved me. And he’s gone.”

“Sometimes we need to choose our own family,” Lily said, her voice barely audible. Remus nodded and rubbed little circles on Sirius’ shoulder. He didn’t know what to say. He never knew what to say.

“Why did he do that? He could have… Didn’t Sprout say sometimes people don’t get infected? _So why did he do that?_ ” Sirius asked. There was so much anger and hurt in his voice it tugged at Remus’ own heart.

“He didn’t know, love,” Lily said soothingly.

“HE SHOULDN’T HAVE FUCKING LEFT ME!” Sirius screamed. “HE PROMISED! HE FUCKING PROMISED TO STAY WITH ME, HE PROMISED TO LET ME LIVE HERE, HE PROMISED HE’D NEVER LEAVE! BLACKS DON’T FUCKING BREAK PROMISES!”

He was visibly shaking, now. He wasn’t crying or sobbing, just angry and desperate.

“Can you please leave me alone for a moment?” he whispered.

“Alright. We’ll bring you some food soon,” Lily said. She then did something Remus would never have expected to see. She kissed Sirius’ forehead lovingly and pushed his slick hair off his face.

“We’re here for you,” Remus said, feeling incredibly stupid.

Lily and Remus made their way to the kitchen, where they raided the cabinets for anything that was still edible. Uncle Alphard had his own generator, so the fridge and freezer were still on.

Neither of them were particularly great at cooking but they managed to put together a big pot of pasta. Lily took a bowl to Sirius and then returned to the kitchen to eat with Remus at the small round table with a frilly tablecloth.

“D’you recon he’s eating?” Remus asked, twirling spaghetti with an expensive looking silver fork.

“I don’t know. I hope so,” Lily answered.

“Should we stay here a while? Let Sirius get over it before we continue?”

“I’m not sure… They might be closing borders so we should get out of Scotland as soon as we can.”

“Right.”

“And as much as it pains me to say this, we can’t afford to grieve right now. If there’s time for that later, sure, but for now we need to focus on getting the fuck out of here.”

“You’re right. Fucking sucks, though.”

“It does.”

They spent most of the evening gathering supplies - or Lily did, at least. Though eating and drinking had made him feel better, the smell of the cellar made Remus’ stomach twist and head throb. Lily had him sit on the sofa and brought him his pills and a tall glass of water. Once he had downed two pills and the water, he finally laid down after what felt like years.

He had nightmares, like they all did most nights. He dreamt of finding his parents in Birmingham like Sirius’ uncle, then himself turning into one of the monsters, then looking through the monster’s eyes as he killed his friends. They screamed his name horribly, trying to grab at his arm…

He woke up drenched in cold sweat, chest heaving in panic. Sirius was kneeling on the floor, his hand on Remus’ shoulder. The room was dark and dead quiet.

“It’s alright, it was just a dream,” Sirius whispered.

“Yeah. I know,” Remus said shakily as he sat up.

“I, uh, came to apologise but didn’t realise you were asleep,” Sirius said awkwardly.

“Apologise for what?” Remus asked. He still wasn’t quite awake yet. The screams were still ringing in his ears.

“For shouting at you and Lily earlier. I’m sorry,” Sirius clarified as he sat down next to Remus.

“Yeah, it’s alright. It’s understandable enough,” Remus said, shrugging.

“Great. Uh, Lily is sleeping in the bedroom and you can sleep with her, I’ll sleep on the sofa. It’s pretty uncomfortable to sleep on, but, uh… I s’ppose you noticed that already. Anyway, I don’t think I’d get much sleep anyway so you should sleep on the bed. Yeah,” Sirius stammered, running a hand through his loose hair.

“I don’t think I’ll sleep either,” Remus said blankly. “I fell asleep early and all that, so…”

“Oh,” Sirius said. His head hung low and his hair was starting to fall back on his eyes.

“I can go though, if you want to be alone,” Remus said quickly.

“No, no, it’s okay,” Sirius said just as quickly, “I wouldn’t mind company, actually. If you’re staying up either way, that is.”

“Yeah. I am,” Remus answered.

They were both quiet for a good few minutes. The air felt heavy with Sirius’ presence, but not overwhelming. It was actually a bit comforting, just having him sit there.

“You’re from England, right?” Sirius asked, breaking the silence. Remus nodded, so he continued: “How come you went to Hogwarts? I mean, correct me if I’m wrong, but Lily said your family… Uh… Forget I asked, actually.”

“No, you’re right, they don’t have a lot of money,” Remus answered anyway. “I got a scholarship, like Lily and Severus did.”

“Right. Didn’t even know those existed, to be honest. My family’s been in Hogwarts for generations, I never had to think about things like that. Never would have been allowed to, even if I wanted,” Sirius said.

“Would you rather have gone to a different one?” Remus asked.

“Nah,” Sirius said after a moment of consideration.

“Why not? You never got along with the posh kids, anyway.”

“I met my best mate there. And… Okay, most teachers were shite but I honestly really loved English lessons.”

“Yeah, and McGonagall absolutely loved you back,” Remus snorted. Sirius laughed softly.

“Our love was forbidden. Like Romeo and Juliet,” he sighed.

“You’re whiny enough to be Romeo, alright,” Remus retorted.

“Excuse me, Romeo is a _spectacular_ example of an—“

“Please do not say ‘alfa male’ or anything along those lines.”

“What I was going to say, before I was rudely interrupted, is a _spectacular_ example of the kind of man I aspire to be.”

“Extra?”

“Poetic.”

“A simp?”

“Romantic!”

“Massively overrated?”

“Incredibly badass!”

“You’re delusional.”

“No. I’m Romeo.”

“You keep telling yourself that.”

They kept bickering until they ran out of adjectives. By that point they both had stupid smiles on their faces and were much more relaxed than in the beginning of the conversation.They sat like that for a while. Then, Sirius’ smile dropped and he said: “I had a nightmare, too.”

“Yeah?” Remus said.

“It was… my uncle. But then he changed to James. And then Regulus. And then you, and then Ev… Lily. It’s so fucked up. I don’t want to see anyone else like that, you know?” Sirius said. His voice broke at the last sentence.

“I know,” Remus said.

“I hate that this had to happen,” Sirius confessed. His voice was trembling and his barely audible.

“Me too,” Remus said genuinely.

“Can you just…” Sirius took a deep breath. He opened his arms invitingly and said: “Can you just please come here? I think we could both use a hug.”

And it turned out, Remus did need a hug. He hugged Lily occasionally, but not like this. This was the kind of hug Sirius gave to James. Long and warm and so tight it hurt just a little, but not enough to bother him. Remus had never been a good hugger, so he just let his arms wrap around Sirius gently and kept them like that.

What remained of the nightmare slowly slipped away and Remus let himself relax against Sirius. He felt his warm breath blow on his hair steadily, and could swear he could hear his heartbeat. Or maybe it was his own heartbeat.

They ended up falling asleep like that. Neither of them had any more dreams that night.

“What’s the plan, then?” Sirius asked at breakfast. Alphard had bought eggs just before the outbreak and they were still good to eat. Sirius scrambled them (because he was the only one who knew how to do it without burning them) and served them with greasy bacon, posh coffee and cold orange juice.

“We should leave as soon as we can in case they’re closing borders,” Remus said, repeating Lily’s words from the previous day.

“Makes sense,” Sirius said.

“Will you be okay leaving?” Lily asked gently.

“Of course! I’m a big lad, I can handle a couple of gruesome suicides,” Sirius laughed. Lily chuckled humourlessly.

Lily and Remus went back to the cellar later that day to collect the rest of things they wanted to bring. They insisted Sirius should look for whatever he might find useful from the the house and he seemed relieved to get a task that didn’t involve seeing his dead uncle.

They grabbed Alphard’s bloody shotgun and all the ammunition they could find for it. They found a pistol as well, which Remus was about to tuck into his waistband when Lily pointed out safety wasn’t on. (Remus let Lily handle firearms from then on.)

They took all the water they could fit into the car and did the same with canned food. Remus was delighted to find two sleeping bags, one red and the other blue. He decided to give the red one to Sirius, knowing it was his favourite colour. He also grabbed a knife, a big box of matches, a large tent and a water purifier.

When the smell got unbearable again and they had gone through the whole cellar, they headed back upstairs. Sirius was there, packing his bags, one of which was new. He had found the duffel bag from Alphard’s room and put it into good use.

While Lily and Remus had been digging for supplies, Sirius had been digging a grave in Alphard’s fenced garden. It wasn’t six feet deep and there was no headstone, but it was good enough.

Lily picked crocus flowers and tulips from Alphard’s well kept flowerbeds and Remus crafted a cross out of boards he found from the cellar. They buried Alphard in silence, with dark clouds looming over them and the smell of rain in the air.

Sirius was uncharacteristically quiet on the drive away from Glasgow. He was listening to a CD on Alphard’s old Walkman so loud Remus could hear it in the passenger seat. (It was Queen, but Remus didn’t remember the name of the album.) He hummed along to the songs mindlessly, tapped his fingers on Remus’ headrest and occasionally muttered some lyrics.

Remus and Lily didn’t talk. Remus felt like they should have, but they didn’t. Sometimes Lily would point out a lone tourist by the road and Remus would hum in response, and sometimes Remus would ask if Lily wanted to switch and Lily would say she wanted to drive a little longer.

So, mostly Remus just looked out the window. Tourists didn’t care about cars very much. They usually just looked at them curiously but didn’t notice the people inside and continued shuffling along. Sometimes they’d start running after the car, but then Lily simply speeded up and easily outran them.

They passed their first car about an hour into the drive. It was a red pickup truck filled to the brim with boxes and canisters and whatnot. A small child stared at Remus in awe as the cars passed each other.

Remus wondered how that child felt, what went on in her head, what she had seen. He didn’t want to imagine having to grown up in a world that turned from cruel to hell in a flash.

“How long ’til Manchester?” Sirius asked not long after the car had passed. Both Remus and Lily jumped at his voice, having grown used to silence for the past hour.

“Uh…” Remus muttered, “a couple more hours if there’s no traffic.”

“Right. Hope there’s no afternoon rush,” Sirius joked.

“There might be. We just passed a car,” Lily pointed out.

“Oh no, a single car, we’re going to be stuck in traffic for hours,” Sirius said in an over-exaggerated posh voice. (Though, his accent was quite posh either way just like most Hogwarts students’.)

“I think we’re going to run into more people the more south we go. People will be trying to get north, where the population is less dense,” Lily said.

“Oh, look at me, I’m Lily Evans and I’m always super mega accurate,” Sirius mumbled. Lily looked like she wanted to throw Sirius out of the car.

“Was that a compliment, Sirius, or can you just not relate to people with thoughts?” Remus quipped. It was quiet for a second and Remus was sure he had made a mistake. Then Sirius’ bark-like laugh boomed in the car and both Remus and Lily smiled in relief.

Sirius seemed much better after that. He was still quieter than usual and got lost in his thoughts sometimes, but overall he was more relaxed and got some of that boyish glint back in his eye.

“You know what we haven’t done yet that should be done on every road-trip?” Sirius asked mischievously when they were finally getting close to Manchester.

“What?” Lily asked suspiciously.

“I spy with my little—“

“NO!” Remus and Lily shouted at the same time.

They ended up playing it.

“I spy with my little eye… something beginning with T.”

“We’ve already done tourist! You need to take this seriously!”

“It’s not tourist!”

“Tractor?”

“No.”

“Truck?”

“Do you honestly see any other vehicles around?”

“Titties?”

“What? No!”

“Oh! Tree!”

“Fucking finally.”

“Alright! I spy with my little eye something beginning wiiiith A!”

“Arses?”

“Yes, but also no.”

“Absolute tossers?”

“Also yes, but also no!”

“A— Oh, fuck.”

“What? That doesn’t begin with an A. Try a little harder, won’t you Lupin?”

“How about A for Manchester is Aflame?”

“Oh. Fuck.”

**5th of November, 2017  
Hogwarts**

Remus hadn’t meant to start a fire.

He had honestly just tried to make one of those DIY hot pillows. He had filled a sock with rice and put it into the common room microwave for a few minutes. How was he supposed to know just how long it was supposed to be in there?

He didn’t find it very fair that it was him they all blamed when there were no specific instructions on the microwave. A mistake such as his could have happened to anyone. He expressed his thoughts to McGonagall and got an extra hour of detention. Truly an unjust system.

Another thing he found a bit unfair was the fact that he had detention with Potter and Black. A normal detention he might have even enjoyed; a quiet empty room where he could do his homework in peace and perhaps finally start reading that book he borrowed from the library the other day. But Potter and Black were extremely chaotic beings and did not know of the word ‘peace’.

So, Remus did the only rational thing and snuck out. It was fairly easy since it was Binns who was in charge of detention.

Outside the detention room, the evening was incredibly peaceful. Dusk had settled and a chilly breeze breathed through Hogwarts grounds. The grass was wet with the rain that had fallen earlier that day and Remus could still smell it in the air.

The occasional owl fluttered above the grounds, and if Remus listened carefully he could hear the lake’s waves slosh against its rocky shore. There was something magical about Hogwarts, sometimes.

“Alright, Remus?”

Remus jumped at the voice despite its familiarity. “Can’t I have one moment of peace?” he grumbled.

“Sorry,” Peter mumbled apologetically.

“It’s alright,” Remus sighed, “I’ve just had a bad day.”

“Right. Wasn’t it you who set the common room on fire?” Peter asked, a hint of admiration in his voice.

“No! I mean… Just a part of it,” Remus said.

“Well, it’s cool either way. Though they’re taking the microwave away, which is kind of a bummer because now I need to have cold midnight snacks. But I suppose that’s not a bad thing, since I’ve been meaning to lose some weight, you see. I am going to miss the hot pockets…”

Listening to Peter’s wheezy rambling was sort of calming. Remus squatted on the grass, leaning against the castle wall, and breathed in deep. As much as he hated listening to people talk, having nonsense chatter in the background made it easier to not focus on the pain or the unwelcome thoughts.

“Peter,” Remus interrupted at some point.

“—and then I, uh, yes?” Peter said.

“Why are you nice to me?” Remus asked.

Peter frowned. “Well, I suppose I just like you. Why shouldn’t I be nice to you?”

“I’m not nice to you. Or to anyone, really,” Remus said, shrugging.

“You must have your reasons. And you’re much nicer to me than some of the other lads. You haven’t punched me, at least not yet,” Peter said. He looked a bit nervous, like now that he’d pointed it out Remus might actually punch him.

“People punch you?” Remus asked in concern.

“Sometimes.”

“Why?”

“I suppose they just don’t like me.”

“What’s there not to like about you?”

“I suppose I’m a bit ugly and fat, and there’s my acne and asthma, and I do tend to talk a lot—“

“Peter, those are not valid reasons to unlike someone, let alone _punch_ them,” Remus said seriously. Peter sniffled next to him. Remus continued: “And you’re not ugly. A bit chubby, but that’s not ugly. Think of it as… Soft. Soft is cute, right? And I _assure_ you, years from now acne will be as trendy as freckles are today and people would kill for your spots.”

“D’you really think so?” Peter asked, touching his acne-riddled cheek lightly.

“Yeah, I think so,” Remus confirmed.

From then on Remus spent more time really listening to Peter rather than just keeping his chatter as background noise. He learned that Peter was incredibly observant, quite articulate when he wanted to be, and very, very lonely.

Remus introduced Peter to Lily because he knew Lily looked beyond things like physical appearance and popularity. They got along well, finding common ground on modern literature. They would spend hours huddled together writing English essays while Remus sat a little further away smoking, sometimes throwing in a question or a thought of his own. They weren’t the best of friends like Potter and Black, but they all supported and stood up for each other. It was quite nice to have friends, Remus noticed.

The only problem was, neither Remus nor Peter was particularly popular. Lily hadn’t been an outcast before but once she started spending time with the boys, she started slowly sinking in the school hierarchy as well. “I’m not leaving my friends just because of some barbaric pecking order,” she said fiercely. That’s when Remus knew he could trust them unconditionally.

Lily and Peter were the first ones he ever came out to.

It was on a snowy day some months after they started hanging out. They were sitting on rocks by the lake watching kids ice skate. The wind bit Remus’ cheeks painfully, most most of his face stayed warm under the thick scarf Lily had given him for Christmas. Peter had brought a thermos bottle of hot chocolate and they were passing it around.

“I think I’m bi,” Remus said quietly. Peter looked a bit startled and didn’t say anything at first. Lily didn’t even wince.

“Alright. Thanks for telling us, love,” Lily said and smiled warmly at him. She wiggled her fingers at him and it took him a second to realise she was asking for the thermos bottle. He gave it to her without saying a word.

“Yeah. Thanks for telling us. We don’t hate you or anything,” Peter said and imitated Lily’s smile. As clumsy as Peter was, Remus knew he was genuine.

A warm, fuzzy feeling settled in Remus’ stomach and he smiled wider than he had in… probably years, to be honest. He felt hot tears run down his cheeks and he didn’t even mind. He felt as light as air. He had never imagined coming out could be so relieving.

“D’you have a crush on anyone?” Lily asked playfully.

“Not right now,” Remus laughed.

“Not anyone?” Peter asked.

“Nope.”

Okay, maybe that was a lie. But Black didn’t count as a crush. Black was just very aesthetically pleasing looks-wise and the whole school knew that. Black himself definitely knew that. However, there was no way Remus could ever have feelings for Black. He was a self-centred, vain, rude prick from a stuck-up family who hung out with a stuck-up guy and would never love anyone but himself.

And yet here he was, years later, slowly beginning to notice the flutter in his belly whenever Sirius smiled at him and the jolt whenever their arms brushed. Maybe it wouldn’t have been so bad if it hadn’t been for the apocalypse happening, which was possibly the worst time ever to have a crush.

Not that he had time to think about a stupid school boy crush right now.

They were slowly approaching what looked like the literal embodiment of hell. Enormous clouds of black smoke climbed up the sky as fire consumed Manchester. Flames hundreds of times bigger than the ones in the common room microwave years ago roared at Remus as if they were challenging him to come closer.

“Guess we’re not going to Manchester, then,” Sirius said dryly.

“No, I don’t think so,” said Lily.

_May 10th, 2020_

_Manchester is no-go._

_We don’t know what happened but it’s gone. We could see it from miles away, the fire. I don’t understand how it could have happened. Maybe the military? Were they bombs? Just how many innocent people were there?_

_I don’t think we’ll ever know._

_We’re heading straight to Birmingham. I’m beginning to think it’s not such a good idea, though, after seeing what happened to Sirius’ Uncle Alphard. What if we find Remus’ parents like that? Or worse, what if we see them (or Marlene) dead but walking, feasting on some poor person? It just doesn’t seem like a nice thing to see. We don’t need any more trauma._

_I’m worried about Sirius. He seems better, but that’s the problem. He seems TOO MUCH better. He’s laughing a little too loud and smiling a little too wide. I’m afraid that if he bottles up his feelings like that he’ll end up doing something stupid._

_(I know he’d probably end up doing something stupid either way because he’s Just Like That, but you get my point.)_

_If James were here he’d know how to talk to Sirius._

_I think Sirius needs some time before we go to London. I’ll convince the boys we should find a good base for at least a few days._

_May 11th, 2020_

_We’re staying in a little cottage near Northwich. It’s quite secluded, which is good. We haven’t seen tourists at all while we’ve been here. It feels normal, even. Like we’re on holiday or something, though I don’t think I’d ever go on holiday with these two. They’re infuriating._

_Sirius was drinking again last night. It wasn’t like at the castle, though. He was drinking to sleep. Remus and I had to make sure he didn’t choke on his own vomit._

_Remus has run out of weed and is growing restless. I do understand him; his meds have never helped as much as smoking, and it’s not like he has many of those left either. We’ll have to find a pharmacy or a hospital at some point. It would be good to have some other meds at hand as well, just in case._

_I’ve been looking around the cottage to see what kind of people lived here. I think they were an old couple. I don’t know where they are. For their sakes, I hope they died before all this._

_May 12th, 2020_

_We were able to listen to Sirius’ radio again today. Nothing groundbreaking, but we were right; they’ve started closing more borders. If we’d stayed two days longer in Glasgow we wouldn’t have made it to England._

_We don’t know when we’re leaving just yet. I like it here, and so do the boys. There’s a little lake right next to our cottage and I caught some fish there today. I don’t know what kind of fish it was and they weren’t big, but Sirius cooked them and we ate them with potatoes and carrots and herbs._

_I think this could be a nice place to come back to if we survive London. There’s a garden and water and a fireplace and no tourists at all. I really hope we’ll see this place again._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long to post this one! I'll try to get the next chapter up quicker :)


	4. The Culture Of The Midwest - Fantastic Crops And Where To Find Them

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regulus was getting tired of people having points.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay three things!! 1. I'm sorry this chapter is a short one. The next one will have more content, I promise! 2. I'm messing with timelines a bit here so if I write a sequel (and I'm very tempted, even though I haven't even finished this one yet) Ron and Neville will be older than Harry. 3. I absolutely adore writing Arthur in this story and I hope you enjoy his character even though his appearance is pretty brief.

**May 9th, 2020  
Somewhere in London**

Alice was having a very bad month.

It was one thing trying to get an abortion in secret. Failing to get one because of the bloody apocalypse and then having to survive with a fetus growing inside of you was on a whole new level.

Oh, and it had been her bright idea to go get the abortion in London of all places and now she was stuck there.

 _Oh_ , and Frank was out getting her pregnancy cravings (bless that lad) and she was alone in a fucking _church_ of all places and her only company was a hysterical woman called Molly and her eccentric husband. Molly was also pregnant, only she was a month further than Alice and therefore even more hormonal.

It was Molly’s fifth pregnancy. Her five sons, two of whom were twins, had been spending time with their aunt in the countryside when Molly and Arthur came to London so they were hopefully doing fine.

“You know, I think I could have very well gone with the lads this time. I’ve been learning how to use a revolter,” Arthur said, pushing his glasses up his nose.

“It’s a revolver, darling,” Molly sighed.

“Well, I’m still learning, dear,” Arthur said warmly. “Anyhow, I found this fascinating book when I was out last time, truly _fascinating_ things…” He paused, looking at Alice and Molly expectantly.

“What’s it about, Arthur?” Alice gave in.

Arthur’s eyes lighted up and he pulled the book out of his backpack. “It’s about the gun laws in America - or should I say, the United States of America, as America is simply the name of the continent. It’s called—”

“Another one? Really, Arthur, you won’t fit all of those into your bag when we leave,” Molly moaned.

“I’ll leave some behind if I must, but this one is _truly_ fascinating,” Arthur insisted, waving the book around. “Did you know you can buy a gun at a grocery shop - or, should I say _store_ \- and that—“

“Well thank bloody fuck we don’t live there, right?” Alice interrupted. Molly, who usually didn't condone such crude language, snorted. 

“Well, yes, of course you’re right,” Arthur said, flustered.

“Go on, love,” Molly said tiredly.

“Yes, and that reminded of me this other book that I acquired on Americans, an absolutely _delightful_ read, you can borrow it if you want… Here it is! _The Ten Oddest Laws Of Each State And How To Break Them Safely_! Did you know that in Montana it is illegal to give rats as gifts?”

“Have you been planning to gift rats to anyone in Montana?” Alice asked.

“No, but imagine if I did!”

“Oh, I can imagine.”

“And here, a favourite of mine, this one! _The Culture Of The Midwest - Fantastic Crops And Where To Find Them_! I cannot say this enough, Molly can confirm, this book is a life-changer! You’ll be looking at Americans in a whole new light!”

Before Arthur could start quoting the book, there were footsteps in the back of the church. In just a few seconds Frank, Gideon and Fabian walked in with bags full and eyes tired.

“How did it go?” Molly asked immediately.

“Ran into a few but they weren’t any trouble. It was those bloody teens again, tried to track us down. They didn’t, though, don’t worry,” Fabian said as his brother started unloading bags. It was mostly food and bottles of water.

While Molly and her litter of lads unloaded their bags, Alice and Frank headed to their own little corner of the church where they had set up sleeping bags, blankets and their few personal belongings. Alice sat down and Frank dropped a small bag on her lap.

“Oh my God, you’re amazing,” Alice said brightly. The bag contained pickles, crunchy peanut butter, gummy bears and barbecue crisps.

“It’s getting harder to come across these things, so you might want to stash some away,” Frank pointed out as she ripped open the bag of gummy bears.

“I know,” she said distractedly.

“Anyway, the lads and I were talking about relocating. Rosier’s gang has been more aggressive, we were barely able to keep them off our tracks,” Frank said quietly.

“And where do you suggest we go?” Alice asked dryly. “Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind getting out of this church but the city is swarming with brain-hungry monsters and—“

“I don’t think they eat just brains…”

“—Rosier’s gang is fucking mental. We need a safe-house, Molly won’t be able to keep moving for long and neither will I. If you want to relocate, sure, but we have to find a safe way to do it and _fast_. I might not want this baby but I know Molly wants hers and if anything happens to it I’m not sure if I can live with myself.”

“Right. Okay. I’ll tell the lads.”

**May 10th, 2020  
Ealing, London**

Regulus’ arms ached at the impact as he struck another infected with his skateboard. Its rotting skull crushed easily, making a disgustingly wet crunching noise, and the corpse collapsed on the ground. Regulus had no time to rest, though, because two more were approaching him hungrily.

He was drenched in blood, and he wasn’t sure how much of it was zombies’ and how much Pettigrew’s. Pettigrew’s breathing was getting whinier than usual and his face was pale. They needed to find him a new inhaler. Potter was nowhere to be seen, which was just brilliant.

Regulus knew he could get away easily. His skateboard was no flimsy thing; it was still well intact and he could get on it and escape in seconds. He was so, so tempted to do it. But he knew Potter wouldn’t forgive him if he left Pettigrew, and he needed them both if he wanted to get out of London alive. And… Well, maybe they had both grown on him just a little.

So he kept on fighting, one zombie — sometimes two — at a time. Pettigrew did what he could to help. He had picked up a rusty pipe and smacked whatever he could reach with it.

“Where the fuck is Potter?” Regulus shouted breathlessly.

“He said he’s getting the car,” Pettigrew answered. Regulus could barely hear him over the deafening growling, screaming and fighting.

“For fuck’s sake,” Regulus grumbled. He threw a molotov at the horde of five approaching them, and they went in flames. They ran in circles, confused, until the fire won. One got dangerously close to Pettigrew, but Pettigrew smacked it with his pipe and it went down without a fight.

Then, without warning, there was a gunshot and for a second Regulus was sure Rosier’s gang was after them again. But when he turned towards the sound he didn’t see a familiar face. Holding a shotgun was a tall man with flaming red hair and a handsome face. 

“Who the fuck are you?” Regulus asked because there was no time for manners in an apocalypse.

“Fabian Prewett, at your service,” the man said with a deep bow that was cut off when he aimed to shoot another infected.

“And why are you helping?” Regulus asked as he hastily finished making another molotov and threw it.

“Because you’re in trouble. Is that not good enough?” Fabian said.

“I—“

“That’s definitely good enough for now!” Peter piped in before Regulus could say another word.

With Fabian’s help all three of them were able to climb up a car, then a bus and onto a building. The infected tried to follow but they were easy to fight off from higher ground. When there were only a few left, there was a loud bang somewhere far away and they all ran off, following it.

Pettigrew collapsed against a cement wall, holding his bleeding side and wheezing in pain.

“Alright, mate?” Fabian asked as he kneeled next to Pettigrew. “You weren’t bit, were you?”

“No,” Pettigrew wheezed. Luckily it was Dolohov’s knife that had sunk into his side, not rotting teeth.

“My sister is a nurse. Or, well, used to be one. She might be able to stitch you back together,” Fabian suggested after carefully looking at Pettigrew’s wound.

“Why should we trust you?” Regulus asked. He was still keeping his distance from Fabian, not letting himself relax even slightly.

“Because your mate will bleed out before you find supplies and my family is like five minutes away,” Fabian said calmly.

He had a point.

“James said we’d meet at tube station if we got separated, right?” Pettigrew pointed out.

He had a point, too.

Fuck.

—

Molly Weasley was a young woman with hair as red as her brother’s. She had a strict tone but gentle hands and soft eyes, as well as a pregnant belly. She wore a simple wedding ring, which she removed when she started working on Pettigrew’s injury.

With Fabian and his siblings were Molly’s husband Arthur and another young couple. Alice and Frank kept their distance but didn’t seem hostile.

“What on earth were you doing there, all by yourselves?” Molly scolded as she cleaned the angry-looking stab wound.

“Trying to survive,” Regulus said simply. He still wore his backpack and had his skateboard tucked under his arm. Just in case.

“You boys are so young… Is it just the two of you?” Molly asked. Pettigrew opened his mouth to answer but closed it when Regulus shook his head angrily.

“No. Just us two,” Regulus said and gained a curious look from Fabian.

“Well, you’re welcome to stay with us, lads. Strength in numbers, and all that,” Arthur chimed in cheerfully.

“No, thank you. We appreciate the offer but we’re fine,” Regulus said coldly.

“At least stay the night. It’s getting dark,” Molly pleaded. “Please. I’d hate to see you go out there at night.”

Regulus was getting tired of people having points. Still, he agreed to stay just the night.

**March 21st, 2019  
Hogwarts**

Regulus hated that Sirius had a point.

He hated that when Sirius said he didn’t want to come home anymore, he understood. Even worse, sometimes he wanted to run away too. For good.

He wanted to run away when he saw Orion hit Sirius for the first time. Regulus couldn’t remember how old they were, but he knew Sirius couldn’t have been more than 10 because he wasn’t at Hogwarts yet. He remembered the sound it made, flesh against flesh, and the dead silence after. Sirius didn’t cry. Orion didn’t say a word. Sirius wasn’t allowed to leave the house until his face was no longer bruised.

He wanted to run away when Sirius went to Hogwarts. It was the first time he had to be all alone with his parents. No one made jokes, and he didn’t even try because he knew he wasn’t as funny as Sirius. He spent the whole time until Christmas break drawing in his room because no one wanted to play with him.

He wanted to run away when he saw some kids skateboarding at Hogwarts and bought a board for himself with his allowance, only to have it be taken away the second he got home. He had to buy a new one and practice in secret, but it was worth it because it was the only thing that kept him sane in summer. He learned to patch up minor injuries, which came in handy not only skateboarding but also looking after Sirius.

He wanted to run away this very moment as Sirius was telling him he wouldn’t come to Grimmauld Place after the school year.

“You can’t just leave me alone with them,” Regulus said. They hadn’t talked in months but he still felt his heart in his throat. He couldn't look his brother in the eyes. 

“You could come with me,” Sirius suggested uncertainly.

“I’m not like you. I can’t… I can’t do things like that,” Regulus said.

“Things like what?” Sirius asked, frowning.

“Buying a motorbike or— or naked girl posters or running away or _kissing boys_ or—“

“Kissing boys?”

“You know there are rumours, you’re not exactly hiding it.”

“Do you want to kiss boys, Reg?”

“I…” Regulus didn’t know what to say. He had never said it to anyone. To be honest, he didn’t think about it a whole lot. He just knew he wouldn’t mind kissing a boy if there was a boy who wanted to kiss him. ( _Not that there ever will be_ , he thought bitterly.)

“It’s, uh, it’s okay if you want to. I know Orion is… Well, you know, about gays but…” Sirius stammered. He ran his fingers through his long hair like he always did when he felt awkward.

“You don’t need to give me The Talk,” Regulus grumbled.

“Okay, I won’t,” Sirius promised. “Just… You know I love you, right? No matter what. You’re my little brother even if you’re gay or bi or whatever.”

“Yeah. Love you too,” Regulus muttered. He didn’t remember the last time they’d said it.

“Pretty fucked up genes, huh? Bad luck for Orion. He’d lose his shit if he—“

“Don’t tell him!” Regulus interrupted.

“I won’t,” Sirius said quickly. Then he grinned. “But it is sorta funny, right?”

“A little, I guess,” Regulus snorted. His smile faded quickly, though. “I still don’t want you to leave.”

“I have to, Reg.”

“I know.”

“And you can always come to the Potters if it gets bad at home, yeah? They wouldn’t say no. They’d love you.”

“Right.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I know.”

Sirius squeezed his shoulder reassuringly and left. The second he was alone, Regulus felt cold and empty. He was feeling cold and empty a lot these days.

_May 13th, 2020_

_We’ve decided to head to Birmingham next week, on Monday or Tuesday. We’re staying here as long as our rations last. The rest has felt so, so good but we can’t stay here forever, as much as we’d love that._

_Last night I laughed harder than I’ve laughed… Well, probably since my date with James. It still kills me that I can’t gush about him._

_Sirius found some board games in the cupboard and we spent half the night playing them. Some of them were old and outdated and SO problematic. James would’ve loved them._

_When we’d gone through all the board games Sirius pulled out a pack of cards and taught us a drinking game. It’s called Kings. When he’s not depressed, Sirius is actually a fun drunk. We listened to old cassettes and he taught both of us to dance but at that point we were all so tipsy we just kept stepping on each others toes and laughing._ _Then we played Truth or Dare (Sirius has been insisting almost every night; he truly is a tween girl at heart.) and I don't think I've ever seen Remus as flustered as he was when I dared Sirius to kiss him. It was just a peck on the cheek -- which is surprising, considering it's Sirius -- and they didn't look at each other for at least half an hour after that._

_We fell asleep in one big pile and none of us had nightmares. I think that’s a first._

_I don’t know what I’d do if something happened to these boys. (Yes, even Sirius.) They've really become like family to me._

_Never mind. These boys are idiots. I do not know them._

_To clarify: Sirius just asked: "If you killed your clone would it be self defence, murder or suicide?" and Remus answered: "Genocide."_


	5. Like a sudden drop in a rollercoaster, only better

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'A part of me wishes we had stayed in the cottage and tried to just… I don’t know. Live there. Survive there. Whatever it is that you call being alive in this fucked up world. There it didn’t feel quite as fucked up as out here.'

**May 18th, 2020  
Birmingham**

A year ago, Marlene didn’t understand why people went so crazy when they were in love. She didn’t understand love at all. She didn’t understand how someone could be so devoted to another person, to trust someone so much and have such _deep_ feelings for them, to be willing to sacrifice everything for just one person. Marlene didn’t think she’d ever be like that. She couldn’t imagine it.

But now she looked fondly at the girl who snored loudly in the sleeping bag next to hers, dried drool on the corner of her mouth and her hair a big mess, and Marlene finally understood. She wouldn’t die for Dorcas. She’d refuse to die for Dorcas. She’d live for her until the end of days and do her bloody best to protect her while she did because Dorcas deserved everything good the world had left to offer, even if it wasn’t much anymore.

Marlene ran her fingers on Dorcas’ cheek as lightly as she could, just to make sure she was really there. Dorcas stirred, but didn’t wake up.

She wished they could’ve stayed like that. She wished time would stop and she could just lay there and hold her girlfriend’s hand and not ever again give a damn about the monsters outside. She prayed for it every day, from every entity she could think of. So far, none had answered.

“Dorcas,” she said softly. She stroked Dorcas’ dark curls, somehow still soft after weeks of running. Dorcas sighed and her eyes fluttered open.

“What time is it?” Dorcas asked.

“Half past eight,” Marlene answered. She didn’t need to check her watch; she knew it was the first thing Dorcas always asked. She refused to get up before eight unless someone was on fire and/or dying.

“What’s the pla-a-an today?” Dorcas asked, yawning mid-sentence as she sat up and stretched.

“There’s still one hospital and a few drug stores we haven’t checked,” Marlene said.

“Right. Shall we get going, then?”

**May 15th, 2020  
Somewhere in England**

Sirius’ favourite part of the cottage was the weathered little dock by the lake. There was a wooden loveseat on it but it creaked dangerously every time he sat on it, so he preferred to dangle his legs over the lazily rippling water. A sliver of beach next to the dock was overgrown with reed that shuffled softly in the breeze that never seemed to stop. Despite the wind, the lake looked almost still at times, reflecting the sky magically.

It reminded Sirius of Hogwarts. The lake wasn’t nearly as big as Hogwarts’ Loch and the atmospheric wasn’t quite as magical, but it was the first time during this whole shite that he’d felt at home. He’d have to bring James and Regulus here.

Sirius watched the stars there every night, and one night Remus joined him.

“Trying to find your star?” he asked as he sat next to him. Sirius snorted.

“Yeah, actually,” Sirius admitted, fiddling with the silver ring he wore on his thumb. It was his grandfather’s ring; the only thing he still owned from Grimmauld Place. He didn’t remember much about his grandfather, just that he had been an arse. Sirius had stolen the ring back when the old man was still kicking it, and never returned it.

“Where is it?” Remus asked.

“Can you find Canis Major?” Sirius said.

“Uh… That one?” Remus guessed, pointing at a seemingly random spot in the sky. When Sirius quirked an eyebrow at him, he snorted and said: “I was never into astrology.”

Sirius took the hand Remus was still holding in the air and shifted it to point towards the right pattern. “The brightest star, right there at the top,” he said.

“Now I know why you’re such an arrogant prick,” Remus noted bluntly.

“Darling, I would be the brightest star even if my name was Trashpants McGee,” Sirius said. He let go of Remus’ hand and, feeling oddly cold, let his own fall back on his lap.

“How creative,” Remus said. “What’s up with the astrology names, anyway?”

“Family thing. We’re all stars or something equally pretentious. Except Narcissa, she got a pass for some reason,” Sirius explained.

“I’ll bet she’s the nicest one out of you lot,” Remus guessed.

“Nah, that’d be her sister Andromeda,” Sirius said. God, he missed her. She’d been his favourite after Uncle Alphard.

“Well, at least your name isn’t basically Wolfy McWolf,” Remus pointed out half-bitterly.

“What’s the story behind that, then?” Sirius asked curiously as he took his pack of fags and lighter out of his jacket’s pocket.

“My mum loves wolves. She studies animal behaviour and shit,” Remus said.

“What about your dad?” Sirius asked with a cigarette between his lips. He lighted it with a single flick of the lighter, which was impressive because it usually took at least three.

“Owns a bookshop. It doesn’t do that well but all the queer kids and feminists love it because he made it a ‘safe space’ after I came out. I don’t know why because I’m not even in Birmingham most of the year.” Remus shrugged. “It’s nice, though. Nice to know he’s at least trying.”

Remus wiggled his fingers at Sirius, and Sirius passed the fag over. Remus winced when he inhaled the smoke. “How do you smoke this shite?”

“You smoke too,” Sirius pointed out as he took it back.

“Weed doesn’t taste like lung cancer,” Remus shot back.

“Touché,” Sirius said. They fell into a comfortable silence as Sirius smoked, occasionally passing the cigarette to Remus.

“Remember when McGonagall caught you smoking?” Remus asked once the fag was a nearly extinguished stump laying between them on the wood. Thin strings of smoke were still climbing up the air, swirling lazily.

“Yeah,” Sirius snorted. “Guess the whole bloody common room does.”

“I was taking a nap. The screaming scared the living shite out of me,” Remus said. His lips quirked into a grin Sirius had grown familiar with and liked very much.

“I’ll bet it scared me more than you. I couldn’t look her in the eyes for three months,” Sirius said.

“Must’ve put a damper on your relationship,” Remus said.

“Yeah. Old Minnie and I always get back up on our feet, though,” Sirius sighed. “You’ll see, she’ll love me even after all this.”

“Well, she is the only person I’m 100% sure will survive,” Remus admitted.

“If she died she’d tell God ‘piss off’ and come back to life,” Sirius said. Remus laughed loudly, which made Sirius feel… weird. Like a sudden drop in a rollercoaster, only better.

“I always thought you were a prick but you’re…” Remus paused to think. “Well, you are a prick. Just not the kind I thought you were. I’d rather be stuck with you in this than some other people.”

“Wow. That’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me,” Sirius said sarcastically.

“You know what I mean,” Remus snapped half-heartedly.

“Well, if it makes any difference, you’re also not as much of a bastard as I thought you were,” Sirius told him.

“Really?”

“No.”

“Thanks.”

“You’re alright. Even if you are a bastard.”

**May 16th, 2020  
Somewhere in England**

It was the warmest day of spring so far. In the thermometer nailed to the the cottage’s outer wall, the red line had climbed up to 24 degrees. The sky was almost clear and the sun danced on the lake’s ripples. As per usual, there were no tourists in sight. Even in the midst of an apocalypse, the day was peaceful.

“We _need_ to go swimming!” Sirius insisted for the fourth time that day.

“It’s May, the water is freezing,” Lily argued tiredly.

“Just let him do it, we’ll get some quiet,” Remus said.

They were all sprawled across a blanket on the wee beach, enjoying the sun and peace while they still had it. A bowl of nuts they’d found in a cupboard and three coke cans lay between them.

“We might not ever get a chance to swim again. Do you really want to take that risk?” Sirius asked dramatically. He sat up cross-legged and stared at Lily intensely.

“Alright, fine! But I don’t want to hear a single complaint,” Lily groaned. 

“I knew you weren’t a loser at heart, Evans,” Sirius laughed. He got to his feet and immediately started stripping his clothes. Lily and Remus followed suit in defeat until all of them were in just their underwear.

“I’m already cold,” Lily moaned.

“Nu-uh! You said no complaints,” Sirius said victoriously. Lily rolled her eyes.

Sirius went in first, jumping straight into the water. “It’s not even cold, you cowards!” he shouted, even though he felt like he was going to freeze to death. Remus and Lily glanced at each other, as if saying: _Are we sure we want to do this?_ Then Remus shrugged and followed Sirius and left Lily no choice but to do the same.

They forgot about the cold soon enough, as one does when swimming with friends. Sirius barely noticed his long hair sticking to his face uncomfortably or the icky weeds at his feet as he splashed at his friends, making sure every bit of them was as soaked as he was.

“You’re dead, Black!” Lily shrieked when he threw a particularly disgusting piece of weed in her hair. He stopped laughing when Lily forced his head underwater but continued the second she let him go. There was still green in her hair, but she didn’t seem too bothered; she was smiling wider than Sirius had seen in a long time.

Remus was visibly shivering but laughing all the same. It made Sirius' belly do the rollercoaster thing again. 

When they were all too exhausted to go on, breathless from laughing and lips blue from the cold, they collapsed back on their blanket to dry off in the sun. It was almost right above them. It reminded Sirius of the time his family went to Martinique for the holidays when he was 10. He and Regulus would spend a whole day playing in the ocean and driving their nanny mad, and then collapse on the deck of Orion Black’s catamaran with juice boxes and fresh fruit.

As fun as that had been, he realised he preferred this.

**May 17th, 2020  
Somewhere in England**

Sirius still had nightmares about Uncle Alphard. He would still see what had been left of his face when he closed his eyes. When he heard Remus washing pots and pans and they made a banging sound against the sink and each other, Sirius would imagine the sound Alphard’s shotgun had made.

Sometimes he would find it heard to breathe. His chest tightened, everything around him slowed down and all he could think was: _I’mgoingtodieI’mgoingtodieI’mgoingtodie_. Remus told him that it was a panic attack.

Remus and Lily tried to help him. They tried to get him to talk about it or write about it or draw about it. Remus told him about breathing exercises after a particularly nasty panic attack. “Cold helps me with my anxiety, too,” he said. “We can’t put water bottles in a freezer but you could try going for a swim whenever you start feeling bad. Just let us know when you do so you don’t… You know, drown.”

So, Sirius found himself in the lake at least once a day and it did help. When all he could focus on was staying afloat and the cold seeping into his bones, the images of Alphard’s bloody head and the sounds of shotguns faded away.

He just hoped that he could get over it soon. Once they left he wouldn’t be able to just jump into a lake whenever he started feeling bad. He was afraid he'd be a burden.

Cigarettes helped, too. While before he had just smoked every now and then, now he smoked whenever he started feeling the anxiety seeping in. Sirius knew it wasn’t healthy. He knew he could die of lung cancer before a tourist got ahold of him. He just couldn’t bring himself to care when sometimes a fag was the only thing between feeling moderately alright and spiralling into a panic attack.

Sirius didn’t want to leave the cottage. It felt safe and it had the lake and he felt so, so much better there than anywhere else — except maybe Hogwarts, but that was no longer an option.

On the other hand, he also felt trapped there. There was only so much to do; cards, drinking, cards, an awfully outdated Trivial Pursuit, more cards, swimming… He was starting to run out of fags despite stocking up before they left Scotland and he knew they couldn’t live off of fish and potatoes forever.

So, when on Sunday afternoon Lily suggested they leave the next day, he felt both sad and excited.

“Are you _sure_ you’re ready to leave?” Lily asked him. She had her typical Evans-face on; brows knit together, lips pursed and eyes worried.

“Yeah. Yeah, why not?” Sirius answered. “Isn’t that what you’re supposed to do when you’re all traumatised and shit? Move on, get things to do?”

“Well, yeah, but—“

“Lily, he’s as much of an adult as we are. Stop babying him,” said Remus from the other side of the room, where he was browsing a dusty bookshelf.

“None of us are adults,” Lily pointed out. Remus shrugged.

They spent most of the day packing up their things. There wasn’t much to take from the cottage, but their car was still stocked with food, water and various kinds of survival gear from Uncle Alphard’s. Sirius certainly hoped it would last until London and if they were lucky, after.

In the evening they gathered around the rickety table on the porch to discuss their plans.

“Alright,” Remus said as he spread out a map on the table. “It should take about an hour and a half to Birmingam, if we’re still going there. We should probably avoid the city itself and stock up in the surrounding villages or the outskirts of the city. Our main concern is medical supplies, so I say we stop here. There’s a hospital and some shops so it should have everything we need, as long as it’s not completely raided.”

“Are we looking for anyone?” Sirius asked. He knew Remus’ parents lived in Birmingham and Lily had mentioned some friends.

“I… I doubt my parents are still out there. But if they are, they might be in the area,” Remus said slowly.

“I have no idea whether Marlene is there or not,” Lily admitted. “I don’t think it would do us any good to search for her, but… She is very important to me.”

“Then we’ll find her,” Sirius decided.

“Sirius, we don’t even know if she’s there,” Lily reminded him.

“Last time you heard of her she was, so we might as well try,” Sirius said.

“How about we give ourselves three hours in Birmingham?” Remus suggested. “If we can’t find them by the time is up, we’ll leave.”

“Is three hours enough to find the things we need?” Lily asked.

“I know that hospital. It should be plenty,” Remus said confidently.

“Alright, that’s settled then. What’s next?” Sirius asked. He was starting to get the same goosebumps that appeared on his arms whenever he and James planned an especially brilliant prank. This was going to be good, he knew it.

“We’ll head towards Oxford. That’ll be another hour and a half. We don’t need to stop there, but it’s the last city before London so if we don’t have all our supplies yet we can stop there. From there it’s about an hour to Heathrow,” Remus said, drawing the route on the map with his finger.

“The question is, do we stop to rest or are we going straight to London?” Lily asked.

“If we find a safe place we’ll definitely rest. We need all the stamina we can get,” Remus said, and Sirius agreed wholeheartedly.

“Heathrow is going to be tricky. Do any of us know the area really well?” Lily said.

“I do,” Sirius piped in. He couldn’t count the amount of times he had jogged after his parents there, his suitcase in one hand and Regulus’ hand in the other, heading to whatever country his father had business in or mother wanted to have a posh holiday in.

“Do you think you can navigate through it?” Lily asked.

“I suppose we’ll see when we get there,” Sirius said, shrugging.

“This is a fucking suicide mission,” Remus groaned into his palms. For once, they all agreed.

**April 12th, 2020  
Hogwarts**

“‘Oh, it’s super rare, it’s never going to reach the UK. Oh, it’s not _that_ contagious, there won’t be a pandemic. _Oh_ , we won’t have to worry about it in a couple of months.’ Does this fucking look like something we don’t have to bloody worry about?” Sirius mumbled to no one in particular.

He supposed he was lucky that he had discovered every nook and cranny in Hogwarts over the years with James. He supposed he was lucky he could navigate the hallways and shortcuts better than anyone, especially better than the… he didn’t know what they were. They weren’t his classmates anymore, though. He knew that much.

As he ran past a mangled corpse that was still twitching — and he honestly wasn’t sure if it was one of those things or a normal kid — he wondered how no one saw this coming. They had known about the virus for _months_ and there had been no precautions. And now the whole bloody country was in the midst of a zombie apocalypse.

He tried to block out the screaming and the blood as he called James for the fifth time. This time, he picked up.

“Sirius?” James’ voice asked, cracking a little.

“James! Are you alright?” Sirius asked, still running. He was on the third floor, trying to find a way out that wasn’t riddled with moving corpses and panicking students.

“It’s barking mad in here,” James said. “I found some shelter but it’s not going to last.”

“Yeah, it’s reached Hogwarts too.” Sirius was starting to get desperate. Every hallway and every exit was blocked. There were staff members trying to keep order but their instructions were drowned by screams. “Look, I’m going to get out of here and we can meet up somewhere and—“

“Don’t you get it? I can’t get out of London, just going out there in the streets is a fucking suicide,” James said frustratedly.

“Then I’ll come to London!” Sirius shouted. “I’ll come get you and I’ll come get Regulus, I’m not leaving you there to fucking die, alright?”

“No, you’re fucking no—“

Something collided with Sirius, and his phone went flying into a crowd of people. He hesitated for half a second, but kept moving. His legs were starting to ache and he was growing tired of dodging the infected. He needed to find a way out, and soon.

Eventually he found a window. It was high up, but not too high up. There were shrubs underneath that would soften his landing and not a human — or anything else — in sight. With a shaky, deep breath, he opened the window and jumped.

Despite the shrubs, the landing was rough. Not rough enough to break or twist anything, but rough enough to be uncomfortable as all hell. He climbed out of the shrubs and started running towards the forest.

“Black!” someone shouted. He didn’t stop running but looked. It was Lily Evans, looking exhausted and afraid but unharmed. Remus Lupin was with him. Sirius slowed down enough to let them catch up with him.

“Where the hell are you going?” Lupin asked breathlessly.

“The forest,” Sirius answered simply.

“Are you mad? You’re going to get lost!” Evans said.

“Look, I know the forest better than the back of my hands. Those things don’t, other students don’t, and I doubt a whole lot of teachers do. It’s my best chance of getting out of here and yours too, if you shut up and follow me,” Sirius snapped.

Evans and Lupin did shut up, at least for a while. They ran deep into the forest, deep enough that after some time they no longer heard screams, just their own ragged breathing and the trees shuffling in the wind.

“Why do you have a cricket bat?” Lupin asked when they stopped to catch their breath.

“Not a whole lot of weapons to grab out there,” Sirius said annoyedly.

Evans snorted, and Lupin quirked an eyebrow. _Fuck, they’ve got fucking crossbows or something, don’t they?_ Sirius thought. And indeed, Lupin pulled out a fucking sword of all things. Where did he find a _sword_? How does one get lucky enough to find a real-life sword in an apocalypse?

“The perks of studying in a medieval castle,” Lupin said and shrugged, as if reading Sirius’ thoughts.

“Piss off,” Sirius grumbled. He’d hammer some nails into his bat or something, that’d show ‘em.

“So, where do we go from here?” Evans asked nervously.

“I’m going to London. Got some damsels in distress to save,” Sirius told her.

“London is _gone_ , Black. Whatever friends you’ve got there, they’re either dead or infected,” Lupin said without a hint of mercy.

“I’d rather die than not try to save my best friend, thank you very much. You lot are welcome to stay here, I wasn’t planning on inviting you anyway,” Sirius hissed.

“James is there?” Evans whispered softly. Sirius scowled. Since when had Evans started giving a single shit about James? Lupin stared at Evans, equally confused.

“Yeah. He is,” Sirius said slowly.

“I’ll come with you,” Evans said without a second of hesitation.

_May 18th, 2020  
Somewhere in England_

_I’m letting Sirius drive today. I don’t trust him with a car as much as I trust myself but he needs a distraction._

_We’re heading towards Birmingham. We agreed that we’d try to look for Remus’ parents and Marlene, but I doubt we’ll find any of them. Sirius is hopeful, though. I think he wants to find at least someone who’s still alive._

_A part of me wishes we had stayed in the cottage and tried to just… I don’t know. Live there. Survive there. Whatever it is that you call being alive in this fucked up world. There it didn’t feel quite as fucked up as out here._

_But there’s another part of me that has been screaming at me to get the hell out. I understand why. I’ve never liked sitting in one place doing nothing and that’s essentially what living there was like. I’m not saying I’ll enjoy London but at least there’ll be some action._

_The closer to Birmingham we get, the more tourists we pass. Most of them are looking quite famished._

_I’ve got to stop writing now. It seems like Sirius has come up with a more extreme version of ‘I Spy’._


	6. Halloween '19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> That Halloween James decided that he didn’t just fancy Lily Evans. He was neck-deep in love with her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I pull an all-nighter to get this up on Halloween? Yes. Yes, I did.

**May 20th, 2020  
London**

To Peter, everything still felt like a dream. Or a nightmare, more like.

Peter had never been great at video games. The gore in zombie movies made him sick, and he couldn’t handle horror. If he had been asked whether he would survive a zombie apocalypse a few months ago, he would have without a doubt say that he wouldn’t live a day.

But here he was, mostly intact — he was missing a finger, but that was a story for another day — after… Well, maths was never his strong suit. He wasn’t sure how long it had been since the outbreak really kicked off. It felt like it had been weeks and years at the same time.

He had a stab wound on his side — another thing he couldn’t quite believe he had survived — and he ached all over and blimey, he missed his mum, but all things considered… He was quite well. Molly Weasley had patched up his injury just fine and Frank Longbottom had fetched him cold but tasty soup. He was safe, surrounded by people who didn’t want to eat him. (Hopefully.)

Regulus was still iffy about them all. He sat against a wall next to Peter, brooding like he usually did, and glaring daggers at their saviours. Peter wanted to tell him that he should be more appreciative, but honestly — Regulus was kind of scary. Even if he was younger and smaller.

“So,” said Fabian Prewett as he sat down between them without a warning. Regulus’ scowl hardened.

“What do you want?” Regulus grumbled.

“You know, I’d appreciate it if you didn’t lie to my family after we’ve been so nice to you,” Fabian said. He didn’t sound angry or threatening, but there was sincerity laced in his voice.

“We didn’t ask you to be nice to us. And we haven’t lied,” Regulus answered. His face was set like iron, not a single muscle twitching and eyes dead-set on Fabian’s. He had lied before, Peter realised.

“I do recall you mentioning a James. Am I wrong?” Fabian pushed. Regulus had nothing to say to that. Maybe he wasn’t such a good liar, after all.

“That’s, uh, that’s our dog,” Peter stepped in. Someone had to save Regulus’ arse, right? Not that Regulus seemed to appreciate it. He looked furious.

“Smart dog, you have. Would be a shame to lose him, then,” Fabian said.

“Get to your point,” Regulus snapped.

“I was just going to suggest that if you want to reunite with your… dog, then I’d be more than happy to help you,” Fabian said.

“Really?” Peter asked, probably with a tad too much excitement because Regulus looked like he wanted to punch him. Then again, he looked like that most of the time.

“Absolutely. Who wouldn’t save the family dog, eh?” Fabian grinned widely.

“Thanks for the offer, but we can get him ourselves tomorrow when we leave,” Regulus said pointedly.

“You’re leaving this soon?” Fabian asked, an eyebrow quirked and mouth in an amused grin. “I expect you know how to treat stab wounds, then? And that Peter here can run, let alone fight with one?”

“He’s got a point,” Peter said. If Fabian wasn’t between them, Regulus would definitely have given him another stab wound. That’s how angry he looked.

“I would hate to take advantage of your hospitality for so long,” Regulus said through gritted teeth.

“Oh, it’s nice to have company,” Fabian said. “I’ll let you two talk it over.”

Once Fabian was gone, Peter said: “I think he’s our best chance right now.”

“What do you mean?” Regulus asked.

“Well, like he said, I wouldn’t be much help like this, would I? And you can’t very well get James by yourself,” Peter said calmly.

“We don’t _need_ their help,” Regulus insisted. He was clenching his jaw so hard Peter was afraid he would dislocate it.

“I’m afraid we do, mate.”

**May 20th, 2020  
London**

James had never been the pessimistic sort. He always found a silver lining, always found a reason to laugh in the direst of situations. And it had worked out brilliantly so far, had given him hope in this god-forsaken outbreak.

But now… It was damn hard to look for the bright side.

After a scouting mission gone wrong at Rosier’s gang’s hideout, he had been separated from Peter and Regulus. The last thing he had seen was shining silver wedged in Peter’s side, and a manic look in Mulciber’s eyes when he recognised Regulus. James had distracted them enough to let his friends escape, but had to take many detours to get to their rendezvous point. By the time he was at the tube station, night had fallen.

James told himself he would wait there until the next day. If his friends didn’t show up…

“Don’t think about it,” he muttered to himself. He sat high up in a little alcove where he could see if anyone — or anything — approached. He had a gun in his hands, a souvenir from Rosier, but didn’t know how to use it. Lily would’ve known.

Every now and then he swore he heard shuffling footsteps in the tunnels, or raggedy breathing below him, or a distant scream above. The air was thick and warm with summer and stillness.

The alcove he sat in reminded him of Hogwarts. Him and Sirius had explored probably every nook and cranny of the castle. Little spaces that were high up in the walls like this one, the hideouts behind old tapestries, and the long forgotten passageways throughout the castle had been their favourite places to escape classes or the irritable caretaker.

He wondered if Sirius was alive. Some part of him — a childish, hopeful part — considered that maybe he would _feel_ it if his best friend was gone. That they had been inseparable for so long that surely if Sirius died, James would feel it in his heart. It was stupid, but he had always had stupid thoughts. His mother had called them ‘imaginative’, his teachers ‘outright dangerous.’

Sirius’ ideas were always the abominable ones, though. Like climbing to the roof of the highest tower, or asking McGonagall to Hogwarts’ first (and last) winter ball, or getting absolutely pissed and doing a strip tease in said ball. Or coming to London during the bloody apocalypse.

James was fairly certain that if Sirius was alive — and god, he hoped he was — he was on his way to London right now. James wasn’t happy about it, but he knew Sirius. He was coming, whether James liked it or not.

“Twat,” James grumbled. He could almost hear Sirius’ voice respond: “Wanker.”

Without thinking much, he reached for the marker in his bag. (He wasn’t sure how it had gotten there; it was the same one they had used on the map when they planned their scouting trip.) Then, in a swift motion, he wrote on the wall behind him:

_I solemnly swear that I am up to no good_

It was something him and Sirius had thought up in first year. It had stuck, and they still repeated it whenever they, well, got up to no good. And once they were done, they’d say: “Mischief managed.”

It was another childish and hopeful idea, but if there was the slightest chance that Sirius ever made it to London and saw it, James would happily take it.

**October 31st, 2019  
Hogwarts, Scotland**

Halloween was a special holiday at Hogwarts. James thought the school was worth attending just for the parties, if nothing else.

Everyone dressed up, without an exception. The first year, Sirius and James had planned to go as Frodo and Sam, but ended up both being Frodo. The second year, in an attempt to fix their mistake, they were both Sam. Third year they went as Freddie Mercury and David Bowie (James was Freddie, Sirius was Bowie) and in fourth year they were Spider-Man and Deadpool. Fifth year they didn’t have much time for costumes because of a massive prank they planned, so they just bought cheap ketchup and mustard costumes. Sixth year Sirius wanted to do drag so they went as Gomez and Morticia Addams, which resulted in a whole year’s worth of rumours as well as detention from Slughorn, who was quite conservative.

This year was their last one, so they wanted to go out in style. James had bought a striped suit and green spray-on dye months in advance in case he wouldn’t find any in Hogsmeade, and Sirius borrowed Mary McKinnon’s old-school camera and stole a black hat from none other than Minerva McGonagall.

“How the fuck does this work?” James asked frustratedly in the boys’ dormitory that day after lessons. He was trying to beat white powder onto his face, but it just made him look ashy and didn’t stay on. “Is this made for just white people? Is this what it is, bloody cosmetics companies being racist again?”

“What do you know about racist cosmetics companies?” asked Lily Evans, who looked slightly impressed. She sat cross-legged on Remus Lupin’s bed, holding a history text book. Her and Lupin wore matching overalls, but that was all that pointed towards their costumes.

“I know the world of beauty is an ugly place,” James said dramatically. To his surprise, it made Lily snort.

“You need primer and foundation,” Lily said helpfully. Lupin cast a curious look at her, but didn’t say anything.

“You could’ve told me sooner, where am I gonna get those now?” James groaned. He threw himself onto Sirius’ bed defeatedly. They had two hours before the feast, he didn’t have time to sneak into Hogsmeade to buy primer, whatever the hell that was.

“You can borrow mine, if you promise you don’t have as many germs as you look like you do,” Lily quipped. James sat up immediately, staring at her in shock.

Even Sirius, who had been doing his hair in the bathroom, poked his head out and asked: “Did I just hear Evans being nice to you?”

“We’re not children anymore, it’s not a big deal,” Lily said, rolling her eyes. “Do you want it or not?”

“Yes! Absolutely,” James stuttered.

“Right. Just a minute,” Lily said. She closed her book with a snap, set it on Lupin’s bed and exited the room. James, Lupin and Sirius stared at each other with wide eyes.

“Is she warming up to me?” James whispered.

“Nah, mate,” said Lupin. “I think she’s just in a good mood.”

“Why?” James asked immediately.

“Because it’s Halloween, you knob-end,” Sirius said offendedly. Lupin shrugged.

Lily returned with a makeup bag the size of her head, which confused James because he was sure he had never seen her wear much makeup. (“Because boys can’t tell when girls wear makeup unless they look like drag queens,” Lily told him bluntly when he said it out loud.)

She then sat next to him and started taking out whichever products she thought he would need. Most of them James had no idea how to use. “You’re doing Beetlejuice, right?” she asked. James nodded. “Right. We should start with these, so we can get a really light base for you, and I think we could do your eyes with these…”

“I honestly have no idea what to do with any of these,” James admitted when Lily had arranged a neat line of products on the duvet.

“I figured,” Lily said. “You want me to do it?”

“I— What?”

“Your makeup. I was going to do mine soon anyway, so I might as well get started with yours.”

“Right, uh, yeah, go ahead?”

They had bumped shoulders occasionally, and held hands in that play in third year, but Lily had never _really_ touched him before. So when she held one hand on his jaw and applied makeup with the other, James felt positively electrified.

“So, who are you lot being, then?” James asked awkwardly as Lily started finally putting on the stark powder he had struggled with earlier.

“Oh, we’re going as the Ghostbusters,” Lily said.

“Who’s we?” Sirius asked curiously, plopping down on the bed. He had straightened his hair and somehow managed to create an illusion of spiked bangs. (James had no idea how; for a second he was worried Sirius had actually cut them.) He was already wearing a gothic black frock he had borrowed from a tall sixth year girl.

“Me, Remus and Peter,” Lily answered.

“No Snivellus, then?” Sirius said. James wished he could’ve kicked him.

“ _Severus_ didn’t want to dress up with us,” Lily snapped. “But I did ask him.”

Sirius didn’t make any more comments after that, probably because of the nasty glare James shot at him.

Almost an hour later Lily made her last fixes and then gave James a thumbs up. “It’s done!” she said proudly. Sirius whistled.

“Thanks!” James said — or shouted, because he had a hard time controlling his volume around Lily sometimes — and ran to check his face in the bathroom. A part of him was worried that Lily had tricked him in the spirit of Halloween and made him look hideous, but when he looked into the mirror his face was a foolproof imitation of Beetlejuice.

“Is it okay?” Lily asked when James came back. She had already started working on her own makeup.

“It’s brilliant,” James said, dumbfounded.

“Can you do mine too, Evans?” Sirius quipped.

“You know fully well you’re capable of beating your own face, Black,” Lily said coolly.

“That’s true,” Sirius sighed.

“You don’t even need as much as I did,” James said.

“Oh, James, _thank you_ , I knew you’d admit it one day!” Sirius gasped.

“Piss off,” James grumbled.

James took the neatly folded suit and hairspray from his trunk and promptly returned to the bathroom. The suit was a bit snug and the green didn’t show in his hair as brightly as he had hoped, but all in all he looked fine. He popped in a pair of contacts and folded his glasses into a breast pocket just in case.

“Happy Halloween, lads!” he shouted as he exited the bathroom, his arms spread theatrically.

“Spooky,” Lupin said without looking up from his schoolwork.

“I dare you to actually dye your hair green,” Sirius, grinning ear to ear. He was also ready; his eyes were lined, he wore heavy black boots, and McGonagall’s large hat was propped on his head.

“If you cut bangs like that, I will,” James said.

“Deal,” Sirius said quickly, waggling his eyebrows.

“Please don’t actually do it,” Lupin moaned. “It’s already an embarrassment living with you.”

“Careful, Lupin, or we’ll dye yours orange,” Sirius threatened.

The Halloween feast was as magnificent as ever. The hall was decorated with candles, enormous pumpkins and paper bats. James was sure the food was better than ever, even though Sirius said he couldn’t taste any difference.

Lily, Lupin and Pettigrew looked ridiculous in their Ghostbuster costumes, but somehow it just made James fancy Lily more. Snape glared at them from the other side of the hall occasionally, not dressed any differently aside from the cheap devil’s horns on his head. Apparently even Snivellus felt the need to fit in.

Everyone was in such a good mood that McGonagall, dressed as a witch, didn’t say a word about Sirius’ hat. (In fact, James caught her winking at Sirius; perhaps for once in his life, Sirius was truthful when he said he ‘borrowed’ something.)

The headmaster was dressed as Gandalf, as he was every year. It was always a fun surprise for first years. Slughorn was the Monopoly man, which James thought suited him very well, and Sprout was Minnie Mouse.

As much as James loved the feast, he and Sirius wolfed it down quickly to make it to the kitchens and then back the common room.

To their surprise, Lily, Lupin and Pettigrew agreed to help them prepare for the party. The help was welcome because James was left on his own when Sirius went on a mission to retrieve beverages. (James wasn’t planning on drinking, though; not after the end-of-the-year party in June. He still couldn’t bear to look at peanut butter jars.)

“Who’ve you invited?” Lily asked as they prepared bowls of chips and popcorn.

“Oh, uh… Well, it was supposed to be just most of the people in our year…” James said vaguely.

“Everyone’s invited,” Pettigrew piped in unhelpfully.

“Everyone?” Lily hissed. James winced. “There’s going to be alcohol, you can’t invite _everyone_!”

“ _Obviously_ I didn’t invite _everyone_ ,” James hissed back. “Just fifth years and up.”

“Still, _fifth years_ —“

“I’m back!” Sirius quipped just in time. He held two full tote bags, in which bottles clinked against each other merrily.

“Jesus fuck, just how much are you planning to drink?” Lily asked him.

“Oh, it’s not all for me, we can share. We’re making punch,” Sirius said happily.

They did make punch, and James swore he wouldn’t touch it as he watched Sirius pour bottles of god-knows-what into the biggest bowl he had ever seen. It smelled sickly sweet and had frozen strawberries floating around in it.

“Those are going to taste rank,” James commented, his nose scrunching in disgust.

“Well, it’s Halloween,” Sirius said.

“Is that your excuse for everything tonight?” James asked.

“Pretty much,” Sirius answered, shrugging. He poured a bit of punch into a plastic cup, tasted it, and frowned. Apparently it wasn’t poisonous enough because he promptly added more vodka to the mix.

The punch ended up being a huge success, and Sirius was forced to make another batch halfway through the party. (Though, at that point he was so pissed the second batch tasted much more like alcohol.)

The party got overwhelming very quickly. Everyone was loud and chummy, making out in corners (or in the middle of the room), dancing, and making messes that James, as the only sober person, felt the obligation to clean up.

As he was dabbing yet another wet spot on the carpet with paper towels, a long mop of red hair and an almost empty bottle caught his eye. Lily Evans was sitting on the floor, absolutely plastered, and staring at her phone with glassy eyes. She didn’t look like she was in the mood to party at all.

“Alright?” James asked softly and sat down next to her.

“Yeah… Or, no, I don’ know,” Lily slurred. James caught a glimpse of her screen. She was staring at an unmoving chat. The contact name at the top was called ‘Looney-Tunes’, which James didn’t recognise at all. Couldn’t have been anyone at Hogwarts.

“Something happen at home?” he guessed.

“My sister’s bein’ a right slag,” Lily said, and then immediately after: “No, s’rry, that’s rude.”

“I mean, if she’s a slag, she’s a slag. I suppose. Why is she a slag?” James asked, slightly concerned.

“She’s jus’… She’s always been jealous, y’know? Because I’m here, ’n’ she’s no’ because she wasn’t smart enough, but that’s no’ my fault, right? And… she’s jus’ a, a _bloody bitch_ about it, all the time, ’n’ she doesn’t like Severus ’n’ she doesn’t like Mary ’n’ she doesn’t like Marlene even though Marlene isn’t even here.

“She’s _always_ talkin’ about this lad she fancies, ’n’ that’s fine by me, right? I mean, if he makes her happy then I’m happy, y’know? But the one time I talk about s’meone _I_ fancy I’m bein’ _annoyin_ ’. Wha’ does she know, right?”

“Right,” James answered. He felt a cold weight in his belly. Lily fancied someone, and that someone was not very likely him. It was probably Snivellus, the bastard.

“Vernon’s no’ even nice, I don’ know what Tuney sees in ‘im. He’s a right wanker,” Lily continued.

“Maybe you should tell her that. It’s not good to be with a wanker, even if you like him,” James said slowly.

Lily lifted her head and looked at James with unfocused eyes for a moment. James wasn’t sure if she looked sad or if she looked like she was going to sick all over him. Then, she pointed at James’ general direction (which was impressive, because he was right in front of her) and said: “You’re no’ drunk.”

“Uh, no. I’m not,” James said.

“Why?” Lily asked.

“I s’ppose I just didn’t feel like drinking,” James said, shrugging.

“You should drink, ’n’ you should… dance! We’re at a party!” Lily slurred.

“You’re not dancing,” James pointed out. Lily pouted, and James’ heart stopped. She was adorable.

“Dance with me, then,” Lily said brightly. “We’ve never danced!”

“I think I’m too sober to dance,” James admitted. He had never been good at dancing. Sirius wasn’t good either, but he had the confidence to do what he wanted and have fun with it. James got too self-conscious about his gangly arms and legs and whatever the fuck he was supposed to do with them. He felt like a stick insect on crack when he danced.

“Drink ’n’ _then_ dance,” Lily said like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

James weighed his options. He didn’t want to get shit-faced again, but getting tipsy and dancing with Lily did sound inviting. But he was also worried for Lily because she was so pissed and he didn’t want her to drink even more and pass out somewhere.

“I’ll dance with you if you drink a glass of water,” he compromised. Lily agreed, though she was sulky about it.

James helped Lily to the nearest bathroom, grabbing a clean plastic cup on the way. He made sure to leave the bathroom door open because he was aware he looked a bit shady. He filled the cup with cold water and sat down on the tiles next to Lily.

Lily mumbled a thank you and slurped the water. She didn’t seem too happy to drink it.

James went through his own phone as Lily drank. There were three messages from Sirius, all drunk selfies with various Hogwarts students. James snorted at the last one where a seventh year dressed as Cher kissed Sirius’ cheek.

There were notifications from Snapchat as well, but Lily gagged before he could check them and he had to hurry to help her to a toilet. He combed through her hair gently and tied it into a clumsy ponytail to save it from the vomit.

He stayed with her the whole time. He gave her space, only checking in once in a while to make sure she hadn’t passed out. They didn’t exchange many words, just the occasional “Alright?” and “Yeah, thanks.”

When Lily was finally done she returned to sit against the wall with James and rasped: “Thanks. Sorry, I didn’t mean to get so drunk.” Her breath reeked, but James didn’t mind all that much.

“It’s alright. You’re no worse than Black,” James said and gave her another cup of water. Lily smiled weakly at him as she took it.

“Where’d you get the hairband?” she asked.

“I always carry one when Sirius gets pissed,” James explained. “God forbid if he got sick on his hair.”

“The whole school would suffer from his wrath,” Lily chuckled.

“The whole world, more like,” James said.

“You sure you shouldn’t be looking after him instead?” Lily asked.

“Nah, I think he’s fine.” James took out his phone and showed her the latest picture Sirius had sent. It was two minutes old and featured a shit-faced hippie and a stoned Elsa.

“Right.” Lily grinned at the picture. “You still don’t have to be stuck here with me, though. I’ve ruined your party enough.”

“You didn’t ruin it. Rather be here than out there, to be honest,” James said and shrugged.

“Yeah.”

They sat there for at least an hour and talked. They didn’t talk about Lily’s sister any more, or Sirius, or Snape. Lily asked him about the year’s cricket team (“I’ve honestly no idea how to be captain, try-outs were a nightmare.”), James asked her about prefect duties (“Are you trying to get top secret intel so you and Black can plan out your shenanigans?”) and they laughed at the pictures Sirius sent from the party.

“You’re actually not half bad, Potter,” Lily said at some point.

“Wish Sirius was here to hear that, he’d make this into a nationwide holiday,” James said.

“I doubt he’d remember it tomorrow,” Lily pointed out.

“Yeah.” James doubted Sirius would remember a thing about the party the next day. If he told him he talked to Lily the whole night, he’d laugh in his face.

“Guess it’ll be just the two of us celebrating that holiday, then,” Lily said, smiling.

“I guess so.”

That Halloween James decided that he didn’t just fancy Lily Evans. He was neck-deep in love with her.

_May 19th, 2020  
I don’t even fucking know where_

_Our car broke down again yesterday, about twenty minutes in._

_We found a house nearby so we stayed there for the night. Sirius is trying to fix the car now, but I don’t think he’ll succeed this time. It was never a great car but I was hoping it’d carry us to London._

_We’ll be in trouble if Sirius can’t fix it. We’re already on a schedule because getting to London won’t get any easier with time, and there’s no way we can carry all our supplies if we continue by foot. Remus and I talked, and we’re hoping we’ll find a working car in Birmingham and come get our stuff from this car when we head to London._

_Still, it’ll be a long detour and the chance that we even find a car is tiny. I think we might have to grab the bare necessities and head straight to London._

_I feel hopeless. We had our wee holiday and now it’s all falling apart again._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this one is so heavy with flashback! The initial plan didn't have a flashback at all unlike the other chapters but all I wanted to do for Halloween was to get drunk with my friends and wear stupid costumes but I couldn't so I'm living through this fanfic and Sims.


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